UWF Fury Hour 08-26-91
Taped from Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Airdate: August 26, 1991 (taped 07/20)
Hosted by Craig DeGeorge, Bruno Sammartino, & Captain Lou Albano
Can Abrams pull off one of the best episodes of UWF to date? Let’s find out!
Get Old Spice or stink up the joint. Do I smell a theme?
Purchase Selsun Blue.
Watch Olympic Showcase only on SportsChannel.
Catch Irish Sports Cavalcade only on SportsChannel.
Order the 25th Anniversary Gala at the Met PPV on 9/23!
See Kickboxing only on SportsChannel!
Call the LegendLine NOW!
Get the Beach Brawl program!
Match 1: Jim The Animal (w/ Paul Samson) versus David Perry
Summary: Showcase match for the Animal.
After the match, Herb Abrams has some serious microphone problems before interviewing Samson and the Animal. While Samson refers to himself as “the Keeper,” Abrams mistakenly interviews the Animal but smartly flees before getting hurt. OK, we have comedy fit for children.
Get your model 1966 Ford Mustang TODAY!
Obtain Selsun Blue or people will think you’ve been hanging out with Abrams.
Purchase Crest in neat squeeze bottles.
Promo #2 airs for Irish Sports Cavalcade.
You must get your hands on UWF Superstar cookies. I’ve heard the Herbie cookies are yummy.
CAPTAIN LOU’S CORNER: Albano interviews the UWF Israeli champion Joshua Ben-Gurion. When did this ham’n’egger win a title? And where the FUCK is the green screen? C’mon, Abrams!
Match 2 for the UWF Israeli title: Joshua Ben-Gurion (champion) versus Muhammed the Butcher (w/ Abudadein)
Summary: What in the blue hell was this crap? While Ben-Gurion is inexperienced, Muhammed is just plain TERRIBLE. Get this shit off my screen! Absolute garbage!
After the match, Ben-Gurion nails Abudadein and uses Muhammed’s keffiyeh to blind him.
Ad airs for the Beach Brawl video. Get yours today!
Subscribe to Car and Driver!
Rent your executive suite at the Nassau Coliseum.
Catch the Mets as they face the Houston Astros TONIGHT! Believe it or not, the Mets won 6-4.
Watch Canada Cup ’91 starting Saturday on SportsChannel!
Match 3: The Cuban Assassin (w/ Mr. Red) versus Joe DeFuria
Summary: Showcase match for Assassin, but DeFuria who looked great against the Blackhearts appeared lost here.
After the match, Mr. Red grabbed the microphone to put Assassin over.
Get the Best of the UWF for only $119.70 plus $15 shipping and handling. They’ll throw Beach Brawl in for FREE.
Call the Captain Lou hotline!
Promo #2 for the 25th anniversary PPV.
Catch Child’s Play 3 in theaters starting Friday.
Match 4: “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff versus Dave Johnson
Summary: Lightning-quick showcase match for Orndorff.
Match 5: B. Brian Blair versus Death Row 3260 (w/ Gorgeous John)
Summary: Atrocious “wrestling” as I am almost embarrassed to watch this any longer.
After the match, John jumps on Blair’s back, but Blair escapes and military-press-drops him.
Match 6: Luna Vachon (w/ the Blackhearts) versus Allison Royal
Summary: That splash was breathtaking, but Royal’s inexperience showed. Also, the recurring interference throughout the show reared its ugly head in this match too.
Promo #2 airs for the Beach Brawl video plus the Best of the UWF.
Promo #3 airs for the Irish Sports Cavalcade.
Tums offers me the relief needed for the heartburn caused by episodes like this dreck.
Promo #2 airs for Olympic Showcase.
Call the UWF PowerLine NOW!
Get Bruno’s book!
Order Baseball Stamps TODAY!
Subscribe to The Sporting News.
Promo #3 airs for the fucking video.
Conclusion: To answer my question above, no, this was the WORST.
Where do I begin? In over 35 years of watching pro wrestling, I have never seen a worse display of matches. If I were a member of the Ft. Lauderdale faithful that night, I’d be tempted to quit watching pro wrestling because of this bullshit.
Alternatively, look at the date of the show. On the same night this show aired, WWF Summerslam ’91 from Madison Square Garden was telecast on PPV. Since this show apparently aired at 6:30pm and the PPV began at 8pm, Abrams may have thought that if his audience watched a poor wrestling product, then they wouldn’t be tempted to buy a wrestling PPV. It’s crazy logic, but Abrams wasn’t 100% sane all the time. Payback, perhaps?
Let’s hope next week’s show isn’t anywhere near as dreadful as this one.
Next week, we find out who Fire Cat’s mystery partner is against the Blackhearts. I need a stiff drink.
TV Rating: NONE
Stay tuned for UWF 09-02-91!
Comments? Suggestions? Send them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and follow me on Twitter (@rockstargary202).