WWF Saturday Night's Main Event II

The opening segment features “Mean” Gene Okerlund interviewing Bobby “The Brain” Heenan in costume bobbing for pumpkins. Interestingly, the theme to The Exorcist plays in the background. Yikes! Heenan finishes the segment by smashing a couple of small pumpkins together representing Hulk and Andre. Well, he was a couple of years off, but he gets an A for effort.

Nonetheless, in the next segment, Hogan cuts a promo on Studd and Bundy until Andre gives him the go-home love tap on the chest. Next, Ventura interviews Piper who is wearing a superhero costume.

In another segment, Okerlund interviews newcomer Terry Funk with Jimmy Hart. He’s here to “house-train the Junkyard Dog.” To finish the segment, he spits his tobacco juice at the camera. YUCK!

We see a highlight of Funk beating up a ring attendant (Mel Phillips) in Poughkeepsie, NY back on 6/17. Once again, Okerlund interviews Funk in the arena. Next we see highlights of the aftermath of a match between JYD and Funk from Madison Square Garden (taped 9/23) where Funk attacked him with his branding iron. Lastly, Okerlund interviews JYD.

Before Funk could even get in the ring, JYD dragged him in over the top rope. Funk was still wearing a cowboy hat and chaps.
JYD left the ring to chase Hart who escaped under the ring. Funk tried to follow JYD but got hung crotch-first on the top rope. YEE-OUCH!
After slamming JYD, Funk missed an elbow drop.
Slam #1 by JYD was to the canvas, but slam #2 was to the concrete floor!
Cross-corner whip by JYD was followed by a slam.
A series of head butts by JYD sent a woozy Funk outside the ring.
A very strong “JYD” chant broke out.
Hart tried to trip JYD, so the latter left the ring to chase him again.
Funk chased after JYD and received a back drop on the concrete floor.
After a big left hand, JYD fell back to the mat. Funk received a 2 count.
Sleeper by Funk, but JYD made the ropes.
After Funk missed a clothesline, JYD hooked his own sleeper.
Hart jumped on the apron, but JYD launched him into the ring.
While the referee was occupied with removing Hart, Funk picked up Hart’s megaphone and WALLOPED JYD in the back of the head.
1-2-3.

Summary: The crowd was heavily in favor of JYD which, along with Funk’s selling antics, made the match somewhat enjoyable.

After the match, Funk attempts to brand JYD, but the latter blocks it and nails Funk with it sending him between the ropes to the floor. JYD then gets ahold of Hart and hammers him. Next, Funk and JYD have a tug-o-war with Hart which leads to JYD tearing Hart’s pants off. JYD then takes the branding iron and brands Hart.

Okerlund hosts the pie-eating contest. In attendance are Savage with Elizabeth (dressed as Tarzan and Jane), Volkoff (dressed as Robin), Heenan (dressed like David Davey Crockett), the Iron Sheik (dressed like Batman), King Kong Bundy (dressed as Abraham Lincoln), Tito Santana (dressed as Zorro), Hogan (dressed like Hercules), Hillbilly Jim, Uncle Elmer, and Cousin Luke (dressed like the three musketeers), and finally Capt. Lou Albano (dressed like Julius Caesar).

Albano and Bundy face off in a ninety-second pie-eating contest. Albano wins in a landslide but gets a pie in the face by Bundy.

Piper’s Pit featuring “Rowdy” Roddy Piper: Back at SNME II, Piper objected to Uncle Elmer’s wedding, but it fell on deaf ears. Next, Ventura made his carp comment which even I found funny. Uncle Elmer, Hillbilly Jim, and Cousin Junior are seated in the ring. Piper has the gall to ask about the wedding night and family planning. Elmer immediately tells him that it’s none of his business. Piper rats out Jesse for the carp comment yet echoes his sentiments.

Ventura exits the broadcast area, enters the ring, and stands by his comments. In an act that belongs in a school playground, Piper shoves Cousin Junior over a bent over Bob Orton. Hillbilly Jim nails Orton for being juvenile. A haymaker by Jim misses as Piper exits stage left to the floor. That leaves Ventura in the ring. He’s able to scurry away but leaves his chapeau behind. Elmer and Jim stomp the hat mercilessly.

Heenan and Cousin Junior will compete in a bobbing-for-pumpkins contest. Heenan wins 7 pumpkins to 4.

After a commercial break, Okerlund interviews Studd and Bundy along with Heenan. As the heels make their way to the ring, Hogan, Andre, and Albano receive promo time from Okerlund.

Match 2: WWF Champion Hulk Hogan & Andre the Giant (w/ Capt. Lou Albano) versus Big John Studd & King Kong Bundy (w/ Bobby “the Brain” Heenan

A high knee from Hogan knocked Bundy down.
He then tried to slam Bundy but failed.
After a cross-corner whip, Hogan gave Bundy a clothesline.
Vince actually referred to Andre as “the big boss man.”
Andre choked Bundy with his own singlet strap as Ventura complained about the incompetent referee.
Hogan tagged in, mounted the second turnbuckle, and hit a double axe handle.
Ventura posed a challenge the hillbillies on the next SNME.
Meanwhile Hogan countered a Studd back elbow with a slam of some kind. I think he forgot what he was trying to accomplish.
On a backswing of a haymaker by Andre, the referee got knocked down.
That brought Bundy into the ring which, in turn, brought Hogan as well.
Another referee took over as the heels fled the ring.
After a commercial break, Andre had a bear hug on Studd.
Andre gave Studd an Irish whip into a Hogan boot.
Hogan tagged in and gave Studd an axe bomber.
Andre tagged back in and delivered the big boot.
Studd left the ring, and Andre tried to follow.
With Andre on the apron, Bundy hammered him in the back causing Andre to be tied up in the ropes.
Studd took Hogan down by the legs, and held onto them so that Bundy could splash Hogan.
As Studd and Bundy relentlessly pound on Andre, the replacement referee called for the bell.
Hogan and Andre won by disqualification.

Summary: If you love big man matches, this tag match was aimed directly at you.

After the match, Hogan comes back to consciousness to help Andre. In doing so, he gives Bundy the big boot. As Andre holds Studd, Hogan comes off the ropes and gives him a clothesline.

Okerlund gets into the ring to interview Andre and Hogan. Andre says this isn’t finished. Hogan lets us know that he and Andre are unstoppable.

At the entrance, Okerlund interviews Savage with Elizabeth. This takes place right after Savage chose Elizabeth as his manager rather than Heenan, Blassie, et al.

Match 3 for the WWF Intercontinental title: Tito Santana (champion) versus “Macho Man” Randy Savage

A clever fan held up a sign stating “Elizabeth is more macho than Randy!”
Ventura referred to Santana as “Chico.”
Knee drop by Savage kept him in control.
Hip toss by Santana but he missed an elbow drop.
Swiftly, Santana mounted the second turnbuckle, hit a double axe handle, and got 2.
After a slam, Savage mounted the top turnbuckle but received a shot to the midsection.
After a knee lift, Santana slammed Savage.
Savage escaped the ring and Santana followed him.
Savage couldn’t give Santana a piledriver on the concrete floor but delivered a knee lift instead.
Both competitors were counted out.

Summary: They only gave these guys four minutes? That’s criminal! I want to see more matches between these two.

Backstage Mr. Fuji prepares for the Kung Fu Challenge against Steamboat. In the other dressing room, Steamboat demolishes concrete and wood.

Next we experience Halloween at the Piper household. Piper uses bowling balls for candy apples and wraps bricks in aluminum foil to represent chocolate bars. Vince asks stupid questions that only piss Piper off. The doorbell rings and some children enter Piper’s home. One kid is dressed like Hulk Hogan which Piper denigrates. Piper puts the “candy apples” and “chocolate bars” into the kids’ bags and breaks them. How dastardly! He then steals their candy. As retribution, the kids had “chocolate-covered red peppers” which make Piper scream in agony.

Back at the Halloween party, Vince asks Hogan for his thoughts on Piper’s Halloween prank. The WWF champion is proud for the kids.

Backstage Okerlund interviews Mr. Fuji while he breaks bricks and wood with his bare hands and head respectively.

As Muraco and Fuji enter the ring, Okerlund interviews Steamboat at the entrance. We are shown highlights from 7/9 where Fuji and Muraco hanged Steamboat over the top rope with Steamboat’s black belt.

Match 4 (Kung-Fu challenge): Mr. Fuji (w/ the Magnificent Muraco) versus Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat

Steamboat took advantage early with a chop, elbow, and enziguri.
A chop from Fuji sent Steamboat down to a knee.
External mandible claw by Fuji sent Steamboat across the ring.
Impressive spinning savate kick by Fuji kept him in control.
Suddenly a wrestling match broke out as Fuji attempted a vertical suplex but received one instead.
Steamboat then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a missile dropkick.
1-2-3.

After the match, Muraco enters the ring and spews red mist in Steamboat’s eyes. He and Fuji then double-team Steamboat. Referee Joey Marella assists Steamboat after the attack.

Next, Vince and Ventura describe the pumpkin pass contest. The faces get five successful passes while Ventura claims chicanery. The heels only get four passes as Elizabeth can’t pass the pumpkin to Piper. Savage takes her to task for her failure.

Ventura challenges the hillbillies to a match also involving Piper on the next SNME.

Conclusion: While I enjoy Halloween parties with costumes and games, this show was hokey to the extreme. Including the matches, I would have to say this episode was geared toward children. The problem I see with this logic is that the show was televised at 11:30pm ET. Someone’s math was very wrong. Skip this episode please!