Hosted by Vince McMahon & Jesse “The Body” Ventura
Can Hogan retain the WWF title against Genius? What is Mr. Perfect’s involvement? Read on!
Maniacally, Ultimate Warrior opens the program by recounting the tale of Jack and the Beanstalk.
Intuitively, Heenan (w/ Andre) rebuts with Warrior living in his own fairy tale world. He’s not wrong!
Making his SNME debut, Rhodes seeks justice against the Big Bossman.
Judiciously, Slick (w/ Bossman) rebuts by channeling Batman.
Poetically, Genius captures his quest to win the WWF title in prose.
Academically, Hogan rebuts by listing some of the greatest scholars in history.
After Ventura teases McMahon for eating too much pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, we revisit Superstars when Andre attacked Warrior who was distracted by Heenan (aired 8/26, taped 8/8).
Backstage, Ventura interviews Heenan (w/ Andre) who uses an All In The Family reference regarding the Intercontinental title.
After Andre and Heenan make their entrance, “Mean” Gene Okerlund interviews Ultimate Warrior who has no fear of Andre.
Match 1 for the WWF Intercontinental title: Ultimate Warrior (champion) versus Andre the Giant (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan)
Grab the Pepcid! This one won’t be pretty!
To counter Andre’s heel tactics, Warrior used Andre’s strap to choke him.
With Andre leaning against the ropes, Warrior tried to clothesline him but Andre evaded him.
That sent Warrior over the top rope to the floor.
Upon receiving a pair of clotheslines, Andre fell out of the ring.
After a commercial break, Andre used the bottom rope to choke Warrior. What? Did you expect him to use a catapult?
Back in the ring, Warrior applied a bear hug, but Andre countered with a trapezius hold and a head butt.
Andre then applied his own bear hug and gave Warrior a head butt to the sternum.
After an audible shot to the midsection, Warrior received another head butt.
Warrior came back with a clothesline that tied Andre up in the ropes.
When Warrior charged, he ate boot. I bet Andre would rather be drinking from this boot.
Heenan then grabbed the IC belt, entered the ring, but missed Warrior.
While the anonymous referee was desperate to release Andre from the ropes, Warrior tossed Heenan at Andre.
The anonymous referee then called for the bell disqualifying Andre.
Summary: Worst match that I have EVER reviewed. This was AWFUL, a total embarrassment to the WWF, and insulting to wrestling fans globally. Why would they air something so putrid? Also, around the house show circuit, their matches averaged in the one- to two-minute range. Couldn’t we get that daily special too?
After the match, Warrior tries to nail Andre with his belt, but Andre blocks it and nails Warrior.
Backstage, Ventura interviews Genius who uses verse to mock Hogan. Clever!
After Genius makes his entrance, Okerlund interviews Hogan who tries to use mathematics to thwart Genius’ strategy. Unfortunately, his report card said otherwise.
Match 2 for the WWF title: Hulk Hogan (champion) versus the Genius
While Ventura joked about McMahon’s “Yale education,” McMahon actually attended EZU, er, I mean East Carolina University.
After Hogan shoved Genius out of the ring, the latter backflipped back in.
Upon receiving another shove, Genius nipped up to spite Hogan.
Hogan then delivered a hip toss followed by a slam.
When he attempted the big boot, Genius sought refuge outside the ring.
As an added bonus, he grabbed his scroll and wrote down a mathematical equation that equaled “HULK DOWN.” HA!
Upon backflipping back into the ring again, Genius slapped the taste out of Hogan’s mouth. Perhaps he was trying to rid Hogan of his alleged halitosis.
After Genius performed a cartwheel, Hogan delivered a pair of clotheslines.
He then gave Genius a cross-corner whip followed by a back elbow.
Upon giving Genius an atomic drop, he delivered a belly-to-back suplex.
Next, he gave Genius a pair of elbow drops and the ten-punch count-along.
Suddenly, Mr. Perfect came to ringside and stated “(Hogan) is not a perfect champion, and this is not a perfect belt.” He then stuck his gum to it instead of swatting it away as is his custom.
Hogan then exited the ring to confront Perfect, but Genius dropkicked Hogan into the ring post.
Upon making Hogan HIT THE POLE again, Genius mounted the second turnbuckle and hit a moonsault in the ring.
Do we have a new champion?
It’s Hulk-up time!
After Hogan delivered the big boot, he exchanged back rakes with Genius.
Genius’ overselling was WAY over the top.
Afterward, Hogan tossed Genius over the top rope to the floor.
Hogan then joined and tossed Genius back into the ring.
Snidely, Perfect grabbed the WWF title belt again and CROWNED Hogan with it. How dastardly!
Genius won by countout.
UPSET CITY! Take the court!
Summary: Hogan got outsmarted by Genius thanks to shenanigans by Perfect. I think someone’s impressed.
After the match, Hogan chased after Perfect and Genius but not before they stole the WWF title belt.
We then revisit Superstars when Rhodes stole Bossman’s nightstick from Slick and nailed Bossman with it (aired 7/22, taped 6/28).
Backstage, Okerlund interviews Slick (w/ Bossman) who calls Rhodes a “habitual criminal.”
While Bossman and Slick make their entrance, Okerlund interviews Rhodes.
Match 3: The Big Bossman (w/ Slick) versus the “American Dream” Dusty Rhodes
When Rhodes requests Slick to be ejected, Slick showed his manager’s license to referee Earl Hebner. Without hesitation, Rhodes then sent it to File 13.
He then hit Bossman with the Flip, Flop, and Fly until Slick distracted him.
As Bossman occupied Hebner’s attention, Slick gave Rhodes the business.
While Slick harassed a woman at ringside, Bossman gave Rhodes a double axe handle.
He then rammed Rhodes shoulder-first into the ring post.
Back in the ring, Bossman gave Rhodes a knee lift followed by a spinning arm hold.
After Bossman delivered a back elbow, he gave Rhodes a cross-corner whip but came up empty on his follow-through.
As Rhodes missed an elbow drop, Bossman delivered a running guillotine.
When Slick grabbed the nightstick, the same woman at ringside chastised him for his nefariousness.
In the meantime, Rhodes rolled up the distracted Bossman for 3.
Summary: There seems to be more to this story than meets the eye.
After the match, Bossman reads Slick the riot act and gives the woman at ringside an earful. To make up for the abuse, Rhodes invites her to dance with him in the ring. I smell a new partnership. Yes, folks, the woman at ringside became Sapphire.
Backstage, Okerlund interviews Rooster, but I don’t give a cluck. Ahem.
As Rooster makes his entrance, Ventura interviews Perfect who claims to be the #1 contender to the WWF title.
Match 4: Mr. Perfect (w/ the Genius) versus the Red Rooster
Before the match began, Genius introduced Perfect.
To counter a back drop, Rooster delivered a knee lift.
When Rooster attempted a chicken wing, Perfect immediately made the ropes.
He then gave Rooster a belly-to-back suplex followed by a neck snap.
Rooster came back with a sunset flip for 2, but Perfect retaliated with a shot to the mush.
He then gave Rooster a cross-corner whip but ate boot on his follow-through.
After Rooster hit a bulldog, he face-planted Perfect.
Next, he gave Perfect a back drop for 2.
Perfect then countered a hip toss with the Ax.
Afterward, he hooked the Perfectplex for the victory.
Summary: Showcase match for Perfect.
Backstage, Okerlund interviews the Rockers.
As the Rockers make their entrance, Okerlund interviews Heenan (w/ the Busters) who bicker throughout the segment. I smell dissension.
Match 5 (2 out of 3 falls): The Brain Busters (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) versus the Rockers
After Jannetty countered a hip toss with a slam, he delivered a dropkick to Blanchard.
Next, he gave Blanchard a flying back elbow.
After Blanchard missed a pair of elbow drops, Jannetty exited the ring.
He then re-entered the ring via a Michaels-assisted sunset flip.
The Rockers led one fall to zero.
Between falls, Heenan argued with the Busters.
With the Busters distracted by Heenan, the Rockers executed a double rollup for 2.
They then reversed Irish whips, leap-frogged the Busters, and delivered stereo superkicks. Awesome!
Meanwhile, Heenan bailed on the Busters yelling they’re “finished.”
After Arn gave Michaels a cross-corner whip, the latter walked up the turnbuckles, flipped over Arn, and gave him a hip toss.
Following that, he gave an incoming Blanchard a huracanrana.
All four men were in the ring until the Rockers gave Arn a double dropkick sending him between the ropes to the floor.
They then double-dropkicked Blanchard over the top rope to the floor.
Jannetty tagged in, and the Rockers gave Arn a double hip toss followed by a double elbow.
Afterward, they both nailed Blanchard.
When Blanchard tagged in, he blocked an atomic drop, attempted one of his own, but Jannetty flipped out of it.
Michaels tagged in, and the Rockers delivered a shot to the midsection followed by a knee lift for 2.
After Arn caused Jannetty to distract the anonymous referee, Michaels attempted a flying headscissors, but Arn caught and guillotined him using the top rope. SNEAKY!
The match was tied one fall apiece.
After a commercial break, Ventura interviews Heenan who calls the Busters the “worst tag team he’s ever been associated with.” In fact, they’re fired. Wow!
After Blanchard worked on Michaels, Arn tagged in, gave Michaels a SPINEBUSTER, but only got 2 thanks to a save by Jannetty.
When Michaels hooked a leg scissors, Arn countered with a catapult into a right hand by Blanchard.
Speaking of Blanchard, he tagged in, mounted the top rope, and lowered the boom on Michaels.
While Jannetty distracted the anonymous referee, Blanchard tossed Michaels over the top rope to the floor.
Michaels then re-entered the ring via the top rope, hit a cross body block, and got 2.
Before Michaels could make the hot tag, Arn attempted to nail Jannetty but missed.
When Jannetty nailed Arn, Michaels and Arn’s heads bumped together. OUCH!
Hot tag Jannetty.
As the Busters missed a double clothesline, Michaels tripped Blanchard from outside the ring.
After Blanchard made Michaels HIT THE POLE, he mounted the top turnbuckle.
Michaels then grabbed and nailed Blanchard sending him crashing to the floor.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle, hit Arn with a flying body press, and pinned him.
The Rockers won two falls to one.
Summary: Let’s all have a moment of silence for the Brain Busters as neither wrestler returned to active WWF competition for the rest of their careers after this match. I wonder where Arn will pop up next.
Backstage, Okerlund interviews Perfect. As he hammers on the WWF title belt. Perfect wants a title shot against Hogan.
After a commercial break, Okerlund interviews Hogan who cuts a passionate promo on Perfect.
Conclusion: Despite the abomination that was Warrior-Andre, the rest of the show was extremely entertaining. Also, the Busters’ last dance is a fine one to catch so don’t miss it!