Taped from East Rutherford, NJ
Airdate: October 5, 1985 (taped 10/3)
Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura
At the onset of the program, “Mean” Gene Okerlund interviews Nikolai Volkoff who swears he will take the WWF title back to Russia upon victory.
In an American Made t-shirt, Hogan rebuts with xenophobia patriotism.
Gene then interviews Uncle Elmer and Hillbilly Jim. Uncle Elmer will get married during tonight’s broadcast. Yee-haw! Hillbilly wedding! Pass the moonshine! All of a sudden, Piper interrupts the interview but gets cut off for the opening montage which used to include Animotion’s “Obsession.”
Prior to the first match, Jesse takes serious exception to the wedding later tonight.
Again Okerlund interviews Hogan who carries the American flag.
Match 1 for the WWF title: Hulk Hogan (champion) versus Nikolai Volkoff (w/ “Classy” Freddie Blassie)
Summary: U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! The All-American champion beat the evil Soviet. Woohoo! Smell the jingoism!
After the match, Hogan takes xenophobia to a new level by spitting on the Soviet flag and shining his boots with it. He then holds Old Glory up high while “Stars and Stripes Forever” plays us out to commercial.
At the entrance, Okerlund interviews Hogan again. Hogan is excited about Okerlund playing the organ. Insert your own joke here.
After we check out the bride in her dressing room, Okerlund interviews Uncle Elmer who is a man of few words. Hillbilly Jim and Cousin Junior offer a few comments as well.
Match 2: Uncle Elmer (w/ Hillbilly Jim and Cousin Junior) versus “Gentleman” Jerry Valiant
Summary: Thank goodness it was short. How short? SIX SECONDS!
As a comparison, we see the “nine second” fall by King Kong Bundy which was actually 23 seconds.
At the entrance, Okerlund interviews the winner, and soon-to-be husband.
In the crowd, Arnold Schwarzenegger is shown.
The Body Shop featuring Jesse “The Body” Ventura: Jesse interviews Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. The latter has a $50,000 bounty on the head of “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff and endorses Piper for victory tonight.
At the entrance, Okerlund interviews Orndorff who is furious over the bounty. This has to be a rib as Okerlund gets Orndorff to pop his Ps when saying Piper and plumbing. Say it, don’t spray it, Paul.
After Orndorff makes his entrance, Okerlund interviews Piper who is worried that Uncle Elmer may have offspring.
Match 3: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper versus “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff
Summary: As a match it was nothing, but as a brawl it was warfare at its finest. Put ‘em in a cage and let’s have a winner!
Okerlund plays the wedding march as Uncle Elmer’s bride Joyce makes her way to the ring. Andre the Giant and Hogan hold the ropes open for her. As Elmer states his vows, Ventura BURIES him with laughter and snide humor. When the officiant asks if there are any objections, Uncle Elmer points toward the aisle. Piper gets on the microphone and objects to the marriage. It goes nowhere as the officiant declares them “husband and wife.” Jesse comments on the kiss: “it’s like 2 carp in the Mississippi River going after the same piece of corn.” HA!
The reception area has a pair of pigs and some chickens.
At the entrance, Okerlund interviews Bundy and Studd with Heenan. Studd reminds Andre that he cut his hair.
Prior to the next match, we see highlights from Toronto’s Maple Leaf Gardens where Studd held Andre’s legs and Bundy splashed him three times.
Match 4: Andre the Giant and Tony Atlas (w/ Captain Lou Albano) versus King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
Summary: I added the ½* simply for that leapfrog.
After the match, Hogan wearing leather pants, a weight belt, and cowboy boots, runs in to help Andre.
In the ring, Okerlund interviews Hogan.
Vignette of Okerlund on the hunt for George “The Animal” Steele. In a cute bit, they show a Bengal tiger. Okerlund asks Steele what type of tiger it is. He replies “Detroit.” HA!
Prior to the final match, Okerlund interviews the champions while their manager lights a cigar.
Match 5 for the WWF tag team titles: Greg “The Hammer” Valentine and Brutus Beefcake (champions w/ “Luscious” Johnny V) versus “Leaping” Lanny Poffo and Tony Garea
Summary: While this was a title defense for the champions, it resembled more of a showcase match.
After a commercial break, Vince and Ventura sit at a table with Hogan and Orndorff. Poffo sat at a table with Albano and Cousin Junior and delivers a poem to the newlyweds. Okerlund tries to tap his glass with a utensil and shatters it. Next, Hillbilly Jim makes a toast then chugs his beer. Okerlund brings out his surprise guest—Tiny Tim! Not surprisingly, he gives the newlyweds a gift of a ukulele. Lastly, Ventura reads his own poem, but it turns ugly. Hillbilly Jim trips Ventura who subsequently falls into the wedding cake. D’oh!
On the next SNME, Hogan and Andre will face Studd and Bundy.
Conclusion: Like the month of March, this show came in like a lion and out like a lamb. Unless you’re dying to see Uncle Elmer get hitched, skip this show!
See you for WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event III!
TV Rating: 8.30
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