WWF Royal Rumble 1991

Live from Miami, FL

Airdate: January 19, 1991

Attendance: unknown

Hosted by Gorilla Monsoon & “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

Patriotism! Xenophobia! Hypocrisy! Get it all here!

Ring announcer Howard Finkel asks the Miami faithful to please stand for the national anthem.

Match 1: The Rockers versus the Orient Express (w/ Mr. Fuji)


Rating: ****1/2

Summary: Fantastic tag match that showcased all four wrestlers’ abilities. If Tanaka hadn’t used an extended rest hold to fill time, this could have been rated higher.

From the locker room, Sean Mooney interviews “Macho King” Randy Savage. Supposedly, Slaughter offered him the #1 contender slot should he win the title tonight. With a poster of the L.A. Coliseum in the background, Savage takes exception to Mooney’s question about a potential offer from Warrior.

Queen Sherri then drags “Mean” Gene Okerlund to the podium to “make a public challenge to the Ultimate Warrior.” As Savage watches on a monitor, Queen Sherri runs down Warrior. Speaking of Warrior, he comes out wearing an American flag jacket. As Queen Sherri seduces him while getting on her knees, Warrior denies her challenge with a vociferous “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Maniacally, Savage flips out and runs to the podium to a chorus of boos.

Match 2: The Big Bossman versus the Barbarian (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan)


Rating: **

Summary: While this was standard WCW Saturday Night fare a few years later, Bossman’s transformation from his Twin Towers days was inconceivable. I bet he was under 300lbs.

Back in the pink locker room, Mooney interviews Slaughter with Adnan. Who actually thought it was a good idea for Adnan to speak Arabic?

No, unfortunately, it wasn’t Ole this time around.

Slaughter then refers to Warrior as the “Ultimate Puke” and notifies him that his “seconds” are numbered.

Backstage, Okerlund interviews Warrior.

Match 3 for the WWF title: Ultimate Warrior (champion) versus Sergeant Slaughter


Rating: ***

Summary: Historical title change as the Warrior era comes to a crashing halt. With the Persian Gulf conflict in full force, the heat for Slaughter’s upset victory is NUCLEAR.

As the Miami faithful chants “Ho-gan,” Warrior exits the ring and chases after Savage. A proud Slaughter then holds the WWF title belt while gloating to the jeering Miami faithful.

Promo airs for WrestleMania VII LIVE from the L.A. Coliseum. Call for tickets now!

Match 4: The Mountie (w/ Jimmy Hart) versus Koko B. Ware


Rating: **

Summary: Showcase match for the Mountie, but a bathroom/popcorn match for the Miami faithful.

Back in the locker room, Mooney interviews a delusional Savage, but a loud knock on the door sends the King and Queen frantically scurrying.

Backstage, Okerlund interviews the NEW WWF champion Slaughter with Adnan. Obviously, they’re ecstatic over the victory.

Next, some of the Miami faithful send their wishes to the troops from outside the Miami Arena.

Afterward, we get a series of promos. First, Roberts wants a piece of Martel. Second, Earthquake’s ready for Undertaker and Hogan. Third, Valentine, who’s already broken a sweat, cuts a generic promo. As does Texas Tornado. Fifth, the Road Warriors act tough. Sixth, Brother Love speaks on behalf of Undertaker. Seventh, Duggan claims to be #30, but he’s WRONG. Eighth, Martel hasn’t forgotten about Roberts. Ninth, Smith cuts a crappy promo. Tenth, Heenan and Perfect don’t want to be second banana again this year. Finally, Tugboat obviously needs a new gimmick based on his lackluster promo.

Back in the pink locker room, Mooney interviews DiBiase with Virgil. While DiBiase states he “bought” a partner, Virgil has a disdainful look on his face. DiBiase should have probably read the 13th Amendment before he said that.

Match 5: The “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase & Virgil versus the “American Dream” Dusty Rhodes & Dustin Rhodes


Rating: *

Summary: Awful match that ended up being the swan song for Dusty as an active wrestler. Following this match, he took a front-office position with WCW.

After the match, DiBiase gets on the microphone while the Miami faithful chants “Vir-gil.” He then demands that Virgil grab the Million Dollar belt and place it around his waist. When Virgil enters the ring, he throws down the belt in disgust. DiBiase then berates and instructs Virgil to pick it up. As he retrieves the belt, Virgil WALLOPS DiBiase with it to a raucous ovation. He then spits on the belt and tosses it atop the fallen DiBiase. Excellent face turn!

Backstage, Okerlund interviews Hogan who dedicates his impending victory in the Rumble match to the troops before getting infuriated over Slaughter. During the interview, Okerlund mentioned that Hogan will travel around the American military bases to offer moral support.

Match 6 (Royal Rumble):


Animal, Dino Bravo, Bushwhacker Butch, Demolition Crush, Shane Douglas, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, Earthquake, Haku, Bret “Hitman” Hart, Hawk, Hercules, Hulk Hogan, Brian Knobbs, Bushwhacker Luke, “The Model” Rick Martel, Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, WWF Intercontinental champion Mr. Perfect, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Paul Roma, Tito Santana, “Macho King” Randy Savage, Saba Simba, Demolition Smash, the “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, Texas Tornado, Tugboat, Undertaker, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, Warlord


Rating: ***

Summary: Worst Rumble match thus far in its short history. There were far too many dead spots and wrestlers in the ring to tell a good story. Having said that, Hogan won for the second consecutive year sending the Miami faithful home happy.

After the match, Hogan holds up a sign that reads “Peace in the Middle East.” Good luck with that, Hulkster. He then grabs a sign that states “Saddam and Slaughter will surrender.” Following that, he grabs the American flag, waves it, and poses for the Miami faithful.

Conclusion: With the Persian Gulf conflict happening overseas, the WWF milked patriotism as far as it could and also exploited the conflict with Slaughter’s turncoat character. While it’s one thing for a character to say certain things, it’s another to publicly deny you wrote them for him.

Although the antagonist (Slaughter) won the title via nefarious means, the protagonist (Hogan) overcame tremendous obstacles by winning the Rumble match. Methinks our WrestleMania VII main event has materialized.

As far as my recommendation goes, the opener is worthwhile plus the title match has an historical and memorable finish. On the other hand, if you’re not a fan of Hogan, don’t watch the Rumble match as it may cause indigestion.

Stay tuned for WCW Clash XIV!

Buyrate: 2.40

Comments? Suggestions? Send them to me at rsg@rockstargary.com and follow me on Twitter (@rockstargary202).

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