This is an exclusive rant for rockstargary.com. While I share my reflections on 80s supershows on Scott Keith’s blog, I wanted to continue recapping the Monday Night War for my readers. I hope you enjoy this exclusive presentation:

Taped from Cincinnati, OH

Airdate: March 4, 1996 (taped 2/19)

Attendance: 8,500

Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jerry “The King” Lawler

Opening montage.

Match 1: The 1-2-3 Kid (w/ Ted DiBiase) versus the “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels


Rating: ***1/2

Summary: Excellent showcase match for Michaels as his Clique buddy hung with him quite well.

After the match, Michaels dances with a kid in the ring.

Shattered Dreams presents a film by Marlena: “Piper’s Pit” featuring Goldust. Extremely suggestive and provocative words describe Goldust’s lust for Piper. I’ll give him credit for his use of double entendre. To finish the segment, Goldust flubs playing the bagpipes.

A WrestleMania retrospective features the Ultimate Warrior. At WrestleMania XII the Ultimate Warrior will return to the WWF.

Prior to the next match, Piper is on the phone.

Next week on RAW the Undertaker and Yokozuna team up to face the “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith and Owen Hart.

Match 2: Justin “Hawk” Bradshaw (w/ Zebekiah) versus Hakushi


Rating: ½*

Summary: While Bradshaw’s high-impact style was on display, nobody was buying his Stan Hansen imitation.

After the match, Bradshaw hogties Hakushi, then Zebekiah brands him with a branding iron. This was the last appearance of Hakushi in the WWF.

Mankind vignette. The passion of Mick Foley is in full form here.

Prior to the next match, Dok Hendrix shills merchandise from the WWF Store. Get your WrestleMania XII chair for only $79.95.

RAW is sponsored by Castrol: Synthetic Blend, the US Army, and Burger King much to Lawler’s dismay.

During a commercial break, Pettengill shilled the WWF Tour schedule:

Match 3 (non-title): WWF Champion Bret “Hitman” Hart versus Hunter Hearst Helmsley (w/ Emerald Hart)


Rating: ***1/2

Summary: Competitive match for the champion here. In spite of his mid-match bow Helmsley didn’t look bad.

After the match Michaels applauds the “Hitman” on his victory.

Prior to the Billionaire Ted skit, the following message was shown:

“The following satire is intended to entertain and inform. The quotes contained herein are actual quotes by the man who could control 50% of America’s cable systems, Ted Turner.”

Tee-Vee Trivia with Billionaire Ted and Candy: The category is pompous quotes. Billionaire Ted answers the question wrong, but Candy appreciates the effort. The next question concerns race and casts Turner in some bad light. Another quote is terribly misogynistic. While the Nacho Man is in the studio, the Huckster is still handcuffed to the top turnbuckle. HA! As a result of being a sore loser, Billionaire Ted pulled the plug on the segment to end the show. Methinks Turner didn’t find this particular segment funny.

Conclusion: In spite of the corny and unnecessary Billionaire Ted skit, this episode was a tremendous improvement over last week’s show. Why can’t they do this when Nitro opposes them? I guess we’ll see next week.

TV Rating: 3.60

Stay tuned for week 27 of the Monday Night War!

Comments? Suggestions? Send them to me at rsg@rockstargary.com and follow me on Twitter (@rockstargary202).

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