Hosted by Vince McMahon, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, & Rob Bartlett
Can Bret survive and retain the WWF title amidst the onslaught of the Headshrinkers? What does Doink have in store for us this week? Let’s find out!
Prior to the opening match, Bartlett performs an Elvis Presley impersonation. Considering his stature, late 70s Elvis fits him accordingly.
Match 1 for the WWF title: Bret “Hitman” Hart (champion) versus Fatu (w/ Afa)
Bret attempted a cross body block, but Fatu caught and slammed him.
When he gave Bret a cross corner whip, Fatu came up empty on his follow-through.
Bret then feigned a knee injury yet rolled up Fatu for 2. SNEAKY!
As Bret face-planted him, Fatu no-sold it and delivered a thrust kick for 2. Obviously, Bret didn’t do his homework.
Fatu then countered a hip toss with a clothesline for another 2.
Upon giving Bret a back elbow, he couldn’t get 3.
Suddenly, Samu came to ringside to support his tag team partner.
Bret then hit a cross body block for 2.
When Fatu’s kick-out sent Bret to the floor, Afa got up on the apron to distract referee Earl Hebner.
In the meantime, Samu gave Bret the business on the floor. How dastardly!
Before the commercial break, Samu rammed Bret face-first into the steps.
Afterward, Fatu joined Bret on the floor and rammed him face-first into the apron.
Back in the ring, he gave Bret a HARD cross corner whip to injure the back.
He then delivered a backbreaker for 2.
As Fatu gave Bret another HARD cross corner whip, he hit a pair of diving head butts for another 2.
He then piledrove Bret and almost got 3.
After Fatu gnawed on Bret’s nose, the champ was BUSTED OPEN.
Fatu then gave Bret a cross corner whip that resulted in a sternum-first bump.
Eventually, he made the cover but only got 2.
He then delivered a sidewalk slam, mounted the second turnbuckle, hit a diving head butt, but somehow didn’t get the pin.
Following that, Fatu mounted the top turnbuckle, but Bret crotched him. OUCH!
When he joined Fatu, Bret gave him a superplex for 2. Wow!
He then bulldogged Fatu for another 2.
Upon delivering a backbreaker, Bret mounted the second turnbuckle and hit an elbow smash.
He then hooked a Sharpshooter, but Afa got up on the apron again to distract Hebner.
After Samu entered the ring, he nailed Bret from behind.
He then switched with Fatu but only got 2.
When Fatu switched again, Bret applied a sleeper.
Samu then tried to interfere, but Bret rammed the Headshrinkers into one another. In the process, Samu got his head stuck in the ropes.
While he gave Fatu a side-Russian leg sweep, Bret dropkicked Afa from the apron to the floor.
He then reapplied the Sharpshooter, and Fatu submitted.
As a result, Bret retained.
Summary: Bret overcame the heel chicanery and won a hard-fought battle. Good match!
WRESTLEMANIA IX REPORT: "Mean” Gene Okerlund announces that Money, Inc. will defend the WWF tag team titles against the MegaManiacs. Also included:
Giant Gonzalez challenges Undertaker.
Shawn Michaels puts the Intercontinental championship up against Tatanka.
The “Narcissist” Lex Luger faces Mr. Perfect.
For the WWF title, Bret wrestles against Yokozuna.
While “Elvis” eats popcorn, Vince interviews Crush who stands on the beach in Hawaii. Crush then DEMOLISHES a coconut representing Doink’s head. Their match will occur at WrestleMania IX.
Match 2: Doink the Clown versus Koko B. Ware
As Doink made his entrance, he brought a wrapped gift.
He then took Ware off his feet and applied a single-leg crab.
When he switched to an STF, Doink mocked Ware’s oversized pants.
He then hooked a spinning toe hold and followed with a swinging neckbreaker.
After he applied a Stump puller, Doink won by submission.
Summary: Showcase match for Doink who pulled workrate out of his bag of tricks.
“Elvis” then interviews Doink at ringside. Doink brings the gift. When Doink opens it, he pie-faces “Elvis.” HA!
Promotional consideration paid for by the following: ICOPRO, WWF action figures (featuring WCW newcomer Davey Boy Smith), and Slim Jim.
In the ring, Vince interviews Money, Inc. DiBiase mentions former CEO of American Express James Robinson along with the $10 million retirement package Robinson received. As DiBiase cuts a promo on the MegaManiacs, IRS threatens to end Hulkamania with his “beefcase.” DiBiase then confirms that the WWF tag team titles will be at stake at WrestleMania IX.
Promo airs for WrestleMania IX LIVE on PPV on 4/4. Order NOW!
Match 3: The “Narcissist” Lex Luger versus PJ Walker
For those unaware, Walker would morph into Aldo Montoya and Justin Credible.
Luger gave Walker a pair of HARD cross corner whips to injure the back.
With Bobby “The Brain” Heenan on the phone, Luger delivered a backbreaker.
He then suplexed Walker and followed with a knee lift.
When he hit a running forearm, Luger pinned Walker with his pinkie finger. Like DiBiase, Luger’s forearm must be LOADED.
Summary: Showcase match for Luger.
After the match, Luger tosses Walker to the floor and humiliates him.
Match 4: Steiners versus Barry Hardy & Duane Gill
According to Vince, the Steiners will face the Headshrinkers at WrestleMania IX.
Scott gave Hardy an overhead belly-to-belly suplex and tagged in Rick.
As Hardy avoided coming off the ropes anticipating a Steinerline, he ate one that sent him over the top rope to the floor.
Rick then sandwiched Hardy in the corner and forced him to tag in Gill.
When Gill charged, Rick backdropped him.
He then delivered a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to Gill and tagged in Scott.
After he hit a pumphandle slam to Gill, Scott knocked Hardy off the apron.
Vince then inadvertently broke kayfabe by using Scott’s real last name while Scott dropkicked Gill.
As Scott gave Gill a double underhook powerbomb, he followed with a Frankensteiner.
Summary: Showcase match for the Steiners.
Promo airs for WWF Mania each Saturday at 10AM ET on USA.
Conclusion: I can recommend this episode based upon two factors:
For the wrestling, check out the WWF title match.
For the comedy, witness Bartlett victimized by a gag.