Monday Night War week 46

Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Eric Bischoff, and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan

As Tony touts Muhammed Ali for lighting the torch at the ’96 Summer Olympics in Atlanta, we revisit Halloween Havoc ’94 where Ali made an appearance in the ring. Tony then touts Shaquille O’Neal’s involvement in WCW since he had recently signed with the L.A. Lakers. After that, we revisit last week’s show where the Outsiders covered the WCW letters with nWo. I wonder what’ll happen this week.

According to Tony, on WCW Saturday Night, Norton turned his back on Ice Train. They will face one another at Hog Wild.
Dropkick by Taylor didn’t faze Norton.
Clothesline by Norton knocked Taylor down.
After Taylor left the ring to regroup, Norton launched him from the apron back inside.
Cross-corner whip by Norton, but he came up empty on his follow-through.
Norton then used Taylor’s momentum to toss him over the top rope.
Referee Randy Eller called for the bell.

After the match, Norton tries to slam Taylor on the floor but gets rammed face-first into the ring post instead. On the other hand, Norton got his revenge by using momentum to send Taylor face-first into the ring post. He then almost knocks out the broadcast team as he carried Taylor over his shoulder.

Prior to the next match, “Mean” Gene Okerlund interviews three of the Four Horsemen at the VIP table. While Arn describes Flair, Mongo and Benoit cut promos on Sting, Luger, and Savage.

As Wallstreet made his entrance, fans chanted “IRS” at him.
Wallstreet tried a sleeper, but Konnan immediately countered with a jawbreaker.
He then dropkicked Wallstreet in the back.
After Wallstreet tossed Konnan outside the ring, he rammed Konnan face-first into the steps.
Zbyszko subtly mentioned Wallstreet’s “anger” over his win-loss record lately. Hmmm…
Rope-assisted leg bar by Wallstreet, but referee Jimmy Jett noticed the nefariousness and called for the break.
Rollup by Konnan got 2.
Slam and elbow drop by Wallstreet only got 2.
Cross-corner whip by Konnan, but he came up empty on his follow-through.
Wallstreet tried to pin Konnan with a foot on the ropes, but Jett caught him again.
Cross-corner whip by Wallstreet, but Konnan floated over and delivered a clothesline.
After a leap frog and savate kick, Konnan face-planted Wallstreet.
Wallstreet Crash (Samoan drop) by Wallstreet got 2, but Konnan hooked him for the pin.

At the entrance, Okerlund interviews Sting, Luger, and Savage. While Luger stumbles over his lines, Sting’s ready to chomp on the Horsemen and Savage crazily calls out Hogan along with the Horsemen.

A NEW Glacier promo aired involving Ray Lloyd. Considering how long it’s taking for him to debut, he’d better bring some COLD beverages with him when he arrives.

Video for Wright, Gomez, Powers, and the Renegade while on the beach. If ripped beefy young men are your thing, this video is for YOU.

Match 3 (eight-man): “Das Wunderkind” Alex Wright, the Renegade, “Desperado” Joe Gomez, & Jim Powers (w/ Teddy Long) versus the Taskmaster, Hugh Morrus, Barbarian, & the Leprechaun (w/ Jimmy Hart)

The Leprechaun maniacally ran around the ring as if he lost his lunch money. For those unaware, the Leprechaun was portrayed by WCW Power Plant trainer DeWayne Bruce formerly of the State Patrol.
Renegade reversed a cross-corner whip and gave Morrus a hip toss.
As Morrus countered a back drop with a knee lift, the cameraman made his way to the production truck.
Meanwhile, in the ring, Barbarian gave Wright a cross-corner whip, but Wright leaped to the top turnbuckle and delivered a moonsault.
Let’s forget what’s in the ring and focus on the Outsiders in the production truck instead.
First, they fade to black then test the sound with re-re-re-re-reverb.
WCW Director Craig Leathers called for security.
While Nash quoted David Bowie, Hall wanted Leathers to pan the crowd then flashed the Wolfpack sign for the first time.
Security came into the production truck and removed the Outsiders. Before Nash left, he shouted “Everybody to my trailer for pot pies and Mountain Dew.” HA!
So since the shenanigans have ended, let’s return to the ring.
Sunset flip by Gomez only got 2 thanks to a save by Barbarian.
Morrus tossed Powers outside the ring. After a pep talk from Long, Powers returned on fire.
Upon giving Morrus a knee lift, seven of the eight men were in the ring sans Leprechaun.
The Giant then entered the ring and chokeslammed Renegade for the DQ.

Summary: Seriously, this was all about the nWo shenanigans and nothing else.

Afterwards, the Giant chokeslams Gomez, Powers, and then Wright in succession. The World champion has dispatched the pretty boys to a big ovation.

Okerlund gets into the ring to interview the Giant. Will Giant accept Hogan’s challenge? Yes, he promises to “chokeslam Hogan in the middle of the ring.”

On WCW Saturday Night, Sting and Savage (Luger was shown) will face the Nasty Boys. The Steiners will wrestle against Rough’n’Ready. Also, the Giant defends the World title against the Booty Man (aired 7/27, taped 7/23).

After a dropkick by Iaukea, DDP reversed a cross-corner whip with a back elbow.
Tilt-a-whirl slam by DDP who then tossed Iaukea outside the ring.
Springboard flying body press by Iaukea only got 1.
Another springboard press got 2 this time.
DDP reversed a cross-corner whip, hit the Diamond Cutter, and got the pin.

Video retrospective on the feud between the Dungeon of Doom and the Four Horsemen. Highlights from the Great American Bash are shown followed by some from Bash at the Beach.

Prior to the next match, we revisit last week when Malenko rammed Benoit head-first into the ring post.

This was Chavo’s Nitro debut.
After a flying headscissors by Chavo, Malenko put a knee into his midsection.
Press into a gutbuster by Malenko only got 2 due to Chavo’s putting his foot on the bottom rope.
Faceplant by Malenko, but Chavo came back with a dropkick.
VICIOUS belly-to-back suplex by Malenko as Tony’s ready to kick off hour #2.
Fallaway slam by Malenko was followed by a Malenko cross-corner whip and thrust.
Malenko placed Chavo atop the top turnbuckle, but Chavo shoved him down when he followed him.
As the fireworks exploded, Chavo hit a top rope sunset flip for 2.
Malenko immediately came back with a clothesline.
After a slam, Malenko gave Chavo a leg drop for 2.
Upon slamming Chavo again, Malenko hooked an STF.
Mule kick by Chavo, but Malenko came back with a cross-corner clothesline.
Vertical suplex by Malenko as Hart came to the ring to support him. Has Malenko joined the Dungeon?
He then planted Chavo with a powerbomb.
As Hart distracted Malenko, Chavo rolled him up for 2.
Inside cradle by Chavo got 2.
Cross-corner whip by Chavo, but Malenko vaulted him to the apron.
Chavo then mounted the top turnbuckle, led with his legs, and missed.
Malenko hooked the Texas Cloverleaf for the submission.

Bischoff immediately insulted my intelligence by referring to Meng as Samoan. He’s from Tonga!
After a leap frog by Ice Train, Meng almost ran him over with a running body block.
Cross body block by Ice Train got 2.
Sunset flip by Ice Train got another 2.
Meng came back with a clothesline for 2.
After a slam, Meng delivered a leg drop for another 2.
Ice Train countered a slam attempt with an inside cradle and got 2.
Slam attempt by Ice Train went awry as Meng landed on top for 2.
Flying clothesline by Ice Train got 2.
Cross-corner whip by Ice Train was followed by a clothesline.
Cross-corner whip #2 netted an avalanche for Ice Train.
Powerslam by Ice Train only got 2.
He then mounted the second turnbuckle, tried a double axe handle, but ate a Mafia kick instead.
After both men spilled outside the ring, Norton came out and attacked Meng?
Referee Randy Eller called for the DQ.

Summary: Not a great power match, but why did Norton attack Ice Train’s opponent instead of him?

After the match, Norton rams Meng face-first into the ring post then cuts an impromptu promo saying he’ll protect Ice Train until Hog Wild when he’ll cause him to have nightmares. Yikes!

According to Bischoff, Eddie will face Flair for the US title at Hog Wild.
Cross-corner whip by Psicosis, but he came up empty on his follow-through.
After a dropkick by Psicosis, Eddie came back with a clothesline that sent Psicosis over the top rope to the floor.
Eddie then nailed him with a tope.
Back in the ring, Eddie gave Psicosis a belly-to-back suplex for 2.
Eddie tried belly-to-back #2, but Psicosis flipped over and hit him with an enziguri.
After a slam, Psicosis mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a corkscrew leg lariat. Impressive!
Eddie left the ring to regroup, but Psicosis delivered a tope suicida where both men landed on the concrete. OUCH!
After tossing Eddie back in, Psicosis mounted the top turnbuckle again and hit a guillotine leg drop.
Sunset flip by Eddie got 2.
He then gave Psicosis a flying headscissors followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.
Huracanrana by Psicosis got 2.
After giving Eddie a powerbomb, Psicosis remounted the top turnbuckle and hit a spinning senton.
Eddie came back, placed Psicosis on the top turnbuckle, and gave him a super huracanrana.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle, hit the frog splash, and got the pin.

Match 8 (six-man): The “Enforcer” Arn Anderson, the “Crippler” Chris Benoit, & Mongo (w/ Woman, Elizabeth, and Debra) versus Sting, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, & the “Total Package” Lex Luger

Where’s Flair? He was in Greenville, SC last night.
Before the match started, Arn was peeking into a white limousine to locate Flair. Bischoff and Heenan speculate whether or not Flair has joined the nWo.
Sting gave Arn a backdrop followed by a clothesline.
Benoit came in but ate a clothesline and a gorilla press slam.
Mongo mounted the second turnbuckle and gave Sting a clothesline.
After Arn tossed Sting outside the ring, Mongo delivered a double axe handle from the apron, and Benoit rammed him face-first into the ring post.
Benoit tagged in and gave Sting a belly-to-back suplex.
Mongo then tagged in and delivered a hangman’s neckbreaker to Sting.
Cross body block by Sting got 2 on Mongo.
Dropkick by Mongo as we focus on the limousine again.
Back in the ring, a back elbow by Benoit got 2 on Sting.
Mongo’s manhandling of Sting looked awkward at best.
Slam and elbow drop got 2 for Benoit.
Sting reversed an Irish whip and applied a sleeper to Arn.
Arn escaped and applied his own sleeper.
Sting countered with a belly-to-back suplex.
Hot tag Luger.
After giving Benoit a knee lift, Luger clotheslined Arn.
All six men were in the ring.
While Benoit and Mongo kicked both Sting and Luger in their midsections, referee Randy Anderson missed Savage’s back drop of Arn over the top rope to the floor.
As the ladies fought over the Haliburton, Savage came over and swiped it.
He then came into the ring and WALLOPED Benoit with it as Anderson was occupied with Sting and Mongo.
1-2-3.

Summary: The Disney crowd woke up for this one. It would appear that the Horsemen are in disarray without their leader.

In the ring, Okerlund interviews Sting, Savage, and Luger. While Sting and Luger cut promos on the Outsiders whom they’ll face at Hog Wild, Savage wants to beat up Hogan before he even faces the Giant.

Conclusion: With the exception of the production truck invasion, this was an extremely forgettable Nitro. I hope next week’s show is better than this one.

Match 1 for the WWF tag team titles: The Smoking Gunns (champions w/ Sunny) versus WWF champion the “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels & WWF Intercontinental champion Ahmed Johnson (w/ Jose Lothario)

Johnson came to the ring with a bandage on his nose. According to Meltzer and Vince, he suffered a broken nose at the PPV.
Before Michaels can touch his birthday cake, the Gunns attacked him.
Upon escaping a back drop, Michaels delivered Sweet Chin Music to Billy.
Michaels then put icing on Sunny’s face.
When Michaels turned his back, she picked up the cake to hit him with it.
Johnson stopped her and made her eat cake.

After a commercial break, WWF President Gorilla Monsoon decries that the Gunns will defend the belts tonight or be stripped.

For those unaware, the Goon was portrayed by “Wild” Bill Irwin.
As the bell rang, the Goon ambushed Mero.
Cross-corner whip by the Goon, but he came up empty on his follow-through.
Meanwhile, Stone Cold Steve Austin sat at the broadcast table.
Mero attempted a springboard splash but hit knees.
What appeared to be a Samoan drop attempt by the Goon backfired. Gotta hate blown spots.
After eating a back elbow, Mero hooked an inside cradle for 2.
Cross-corner whip by Mero, but he ate boot on his follow-through.
After a clothesline by the Goon, Jake Roberts was on the phone.
Cross-corner whip by the Goon who then delivered a knee to the midsection.
After the phone call ended, Mero delivered a dropkick.
Upon escaping a suplex attempt, Mero rolled up the Goon for 2.
Since Austin subtly badmouthed the WWF’s marketing of the Lex Express, Vince told Austin he will face the Undertaker next week.
Cross-corner whip by Mero, but he ran straight into the Goon in another blown spot.
Mero reversed an Irish whip and delivered a powerslam for 2.
Flying headscissors attempt by Mero, but the Goon screwed that up too.
Sheesh! End the fucking match already!
After a back drop, Mero gave the Goon a knee lift.
The Goon then tossed Mero outside the ring.
Upon joining Mero, the Goon charged but ended up slipping on the cake icing. D’oh!
Mero returned to the ring and delivered a somersault plancha.
Springboard leg drop by Mero got the pin.

Summary: Can someone please teach the Goon how to wrestle? I think Irwin forgot between gimmicks.

Vince then interviews Michaels and Johnson. Smartly, Michaels did all the talking.

You can enter the Stridex Summerslam sweepstakes at Phar-Mor or check the WWF AOL site for other retailers. Or if you’re feeling spry, send your entry to P.O. Box 887 White Plains, NY 10604.

Before the next match started, Monsoon spoke to Clarence Mason about a possible incoming jailbird. That would end up being Crush a.k.a. Brian Adams.

We then revisit the stills from last night concerning the Undertaker-Goldust match. The less said about it the better.

For those unaware, Freddie Joe Floyd was portrayed by future FBI member Tracy Smothers.
After a dropkick by Floyd, he mounted the top turnbuckle only to miss a flying body press badly.
Mankind pummeled Floyd in the corner then delivered a knee that knocked him silly.
While Floyd was leaning on the bottom rope, Mankind gave him a leg drop.
Discus clothesline by Mankind who then tied Floyd to the Tree of Woe.
Mankind charged at him, but Floyd sat up so that Mankind came up empty. Clever!
After a series of backhands, Floyd delivered a pair of enziguris.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a flying back elbow for 2.
Oklahoma roll by Floyd almost got 3.
Floyd again mounted the top turnbuckle but got caught.
Mankind applied the Mandible claw bringing Floyd down to the mat in the process.
Floyd submitted.

Summary: At least Floyd knew how to wrestle as he definitely gave Mankind something to consider.

As Mankind exits, Vince promotes next week’s episode having already stated Undertaker versus Austin. He also mentions Mero versus Vader. Additionally, Sid will face Justin “Hawk” Bradshaw. Prior to the commercial break, Brian Pillman makes his way to the broadcast location.

Before the next match began, Vince interviews Mero about his match against Vader. He stated that Vader will fall victim to "Cat Scratch Fever." I think he missed the true meaning of that song. Anyway, Mero then turns his attention toward Goldust who, instead of Marlena who was originally planned, has been sending Sable gifts.

Just like at the Clash earlier this year, Pillman threatened to say the seven words you can’t say on TV.
According to Vince, Goldust will face Mero at Summerslam.
After giving Horowitz a clothesline, Goldust tossed him outside the ring.
Upon joining him, he rammed Horowitz face-first into the steps.
Back in the ring, Goldust delivered a vertical suplex.
After giving Horowitz both a cross-corner whip and a sternum-first bump into the corner, Goldust delivered the Curtain Call.
1-2-3.

Stridex Slam of the Week is the Vader bomb that pinned Michaels last night at IYH9.

After a commercial break, Vince interviews the #1 contender to the WWF title Vader along with Cornette in the ring. Cornette uses the bully anecdote to describe how Vader will take the WWF title from Michaels at Summerslam.

Match 5 for the WWF tag team titles (part deux): The Smoking Gunns (champions w/ Sunny) versus WWF champion the “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels & WWF Intercontinental champion Ahmed Johnson (w/ Jose Lothario)

Michaels and Johnson gave cross-corner whips to the Gunns, but Billy leapfrogged over Bart.
Nonetheless, Michaels and Johnson nailed each of them.
After the Gunns regrouped with Sunny, Michaels clotheslined Billy over the top rope to the floor.
When Billy returned to the apron, Michaels brought him in the hard way.
Cross-corner whip by Bart, but Johnson exploded out of the corner with a clothesline.
Bart then reversed an Irish whip and delivered a stungun.
Get your tickets now for Summerslam by calling the Gund Arena at 216-241-5555. According to the WWE Network, the phone number is no longer active. While the arena’s been sponsored by Quicken Loans, its phone number is now 216-420-2000. Call to order!
Meanwhile, Johnson reversed an Irish whip and gave Billy a modified powerslam.
Michaels tagged in, mounted the top turnbuckle, and nailed Billy with a double axe handle for 2.
After Michaels reversed a cross-corner whip, he gave Billy a hip toss and a flying headscissors.
A second attempt, however, was thwarted when Bart guillotined Michaels using the top rope.
After a cross-corner whip by Bart, Michaels received a gorilla press.
Bart then crotched him on the top rope. OUCH!
Billy tagged in as the Gunns double-teamed Michaels including a swinging neckbreaker by Bart.
That got 2 for Billy.
Cross-corner whip reversed by Billy resulted in a Michaels flip to the floor.
False tag to Johnson as Bart distracted referee Jim Korderas.
During the commercial break, Jim Ross shilled the WWF Superstar Line.
Upon returning from commercial, Billy gave Michaels a Bart-assisted corner clothesline for 2.
Michaels countered a double back drop with a double noggin knocker.
Hot tag Johnson.
Spinebuster to Billy, but Bart low-bridged him down to the floor.
A gladiator ran in and attacked Johnson. Shouldn’t he be fighting for the dragon queen Daenerys Targaryen?
Korderas called for the bell.

After the match, the gladiator makes Johnson taste the steel railing. It must have tasted like the hot mess bitch at the Biscuit Bitch. Holy Florida State defensive tackles, Batman! That’s former WCW World champion Ron Simmons! After slamming him, Simmons rams Johnson back-first into the ring post as Sunny eggs him on. Officials (along with a back away kick from Michaels) separate the two. Lawler name-drops Simmons before another melee gets underway just as RAW goes off the air.

Conclusion: Fifty-five minutes of crap for five minutes’ worth of angle do NOT a good program make. Pass on this turd as well.

Who won? Both Nitro and RAW must have known their ratings would be down with the Olympics going on. Neither program tried hard, and it showed. While both did a good job of promoting their next PPVs, the matches they showed were mere filler rather than ratings-garnering successes. I hope next week’s shows are better than these.