Monday Night War week 35

Hosted by Eric Bischoff, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and Steve “Mongo” McMichael

While Heenan’s microphone isn’t plugged in, the crowd honors him with a healthy “weasel” chant.

While Morrus made his entrance, Eric plugged Hog Wild on August 10 in Sturgis, SD.
While shaking hands with the fans, Savage got attacked by Morrus in the aisle.
He then guillotined Savage on the steel railing.
Next he rammed Savage shoulder-first into the ring post.
After slamming Savage on the floor, Morrus put Savage’s costume on.
In retaliation, Savage tried to take Morrus’ eye out with the sunglasses.
He then hanged Morrus with his jacket.
Referee Randy Eller disqualified Savage.

After the “match,” Savage mounts the top turnbuckle and hits the big elbow. After Eller raises Morrus’ hand, Savage slaps Eller in the mouth. Next, he tosses Morrus out of the ring, picks Eller up, and slams him. He then mounts the top turnbuckle again, clears Nick Patrick, and drops the big elbow on Eller. In the meantime, stop ringing the fucking bell! Not only WCW officials but also Daytona’s finest come to the ring. The crowd eats this up with a spoon. Good stuff!

Eric notes the passing of Ray “The Crippler” Stevens and offers his condolences.

Eric mentioned that Ohtani won the WCW Cruiserweight title in Japan and will defend the title at Slamboree.
Enziguri by Liger gave him the early advantage.
Flair (in a tuxedo), Woman, and Elizabeth came out and sat at a VIP table near the entrance.
Seated senton by Liger got 2.
Brainbuster got 2 for Liger.
Seated abdominal stretch into a cradle got 1.
Dropkick by Malenko got 1 due to Liger’s foot on the ropes.
Leg bar submission by Malenko, but Liger made the ropes.
Eric noted that the talent acquisitions in May (and particularly June) will make Nitro even hotter. I’m ready, are you?
A Boston Crab by Malenko was countered into an inside cradle for 2.
Handspring back elbow by Liger got 2.
Cross-corner whip by Liger was followed by an abisegeri.
Upon suplexing Malenko onto the top turnbuckle, Liger tried a superplex. When Malenko blocked it, Liger dropkicked him to the floor.
Liger then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a suicide dive to Malenko on the floor. Wow!
Back in the ring, a pinfall reversal sequence got 2 for both competitors.
After giving Malenko a cross-corner whip, Liger followed and was backdropped.
Fortunately, he caught himself on the apron.
He mounted the top turnbuckle, got caught, and was given a super gutbuster.
Eric had the gall to say he’d never seen it before, but back in December, Malenko broke Mr. JL’s arm with that maneuver. Liger survived the move unscathed.
Liger countered a powerbomb attempt by shifting his weight and got 2.
Tiger driver by Malenko got the pin.

Summary: Encore! Encore! Give me more! That was an awesome use of TV time by these guys. Put them on PPV for 20 minutes and watch them go!

By the entrance, “Mean” Gene Okerlund interviews Flair with Woman and Elizabeth. According to Flair, the Giant “got lucky” last week against him. He then shills his tag match with Savage at Slamboree. Next, Flair offers Debra McMichael a glass of champagne. She accepts it then spills it intentionally.

Regal came to the ring still showing some effects from “last week.”
Eric mentioned that Luger still wasn’t here for his upcoming title match.
Sting reversed a cross-corner whip and gave Regal a back drop.
Scorpion death lock attempt, but Regal made the ropes.
Sting wore #29 on his tights for Steve Grissom, the driver of the WCW car in the Busch Grand Nationals. I’m no racing fan, but that’s a great looking car.
Sting reversed a cross-corner whip and delivered a dropkick.
Continuing the offensive onslaught, Sting gave Regal a slam and a pair of clotheslines.
Stinger splash, but Regal moved.
Butterfly suplex by Regal countered into one by Sting.
1-2-3.

Summary: Great finish to a short, scientific match as Sting went hold-for-hold with Regal very well.

Match 4 for the WCW World title: The Giant (champion w/ Jimmy Hart) versus ~~the “Total Package” Lex Luger~~ “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan

Sting’s music brought out…Jim Duggan? Luger no-showed? Something’s awry.
Duggan attacked the Giant before the Giant could fully get into the ring.
Standing boot choke in the corner by the Giant put him in control.
Duggan tried to slam the Giant to no avail.
Cross-corner whip by the Giant, but he came up empty on his follow-through.
Duggan pulled out the tape, but the Giant gave him a chokeslam.
1-2-3.

After the match, the Giant gives Duggan a second chokeslam. Cobra runs into the ring and eats a chokeslam. The Cuban Assassin also eats a chokeslam as does Alex Wright. Flair, in his tuxedo, wallops the Giant with a balsa wood chair to no effect. Sting runs to the ring, mounts the top turnbuckle, and nails the Giant. He then clips the Giant then clocks the Giant four times. The Giant still hasn’t left his feet. Sting mounts the top turnbuckle again and hits a double axe handle to knock him down. Sting attempts a Scorpion death lock, but Hart nails Sting with the megaphone. Luger FINALLY runs in with a Haliburton.

Okerlund interviews the tag team champions. Sting asks Luger where he’s been. Luger, in his pinstriped Zubaz, filibustered until the show went off the air.

Conclusion: Great wrestling and hot angles make this a must-watch episode. I can’t believe the quality of the show because it’s unopposed in its 7pm slot. You would think RAW was on the other channel. Speaking of which, what’s on RAW?

An “ex-wife of former professional wrestler” (in silhouette) refers to Shawn Michaels as a “homewrecker.” Yikes!

Before the first match begins, we revisit the Free for All where Helmsley interfered in the match between Mero and the Kid.

Match 1: The 1-2-3 Kid (w/ the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase) versus “Wildman” Marc Mero (w/ Sable)

Hunter Hearst Helmsley sat in on commentary for this match.
Dropkick by Mero sent the Kid over the top rope to the floor.
He followed that up with a plancha.
On the other hand, a springboard splash by Mero hit knees.
After giving Mero a cross-corner whip, the Kid delivered a dropkick.
As Sable showed off her cat-o’-nine-tails, the Kid applied a sleeper.
As the Kid had Mero on the mat, he put his feet on the ropes for leverage. SNEAKY!
Just as the Kid went for another kick, Mero grabbed the leg and gave the Kid a dragon screw leg whip.
Flying clothesline by the Kid got 2.
A pair of leg drops by the Kid was followed by a second sleeper.
Healthy “Wildman” chant from the crowd.
Again the Kid put his feet on the ropes for leverage.
A third sleeper took us to a commercial break.
When we return, Mero gave the Kid a back drop and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a double axe handle for 2.
Next, he tossed the Kid completely over the top rope then hit him with a somersault plancha.
Helmsley left the broadcast table and tossed the Kid back into the ring.
Meanwhile Mero mounted the top turnbuckle only for Helmsley pull on his leg crotching him.
The Kid then tried a superplex, but Mero used momentum and landed on the Kid.
1-2-3. Mero won.

Last week, Savio Vega challenged Austin to a Caribbean strap match. Over the weekend on Superstars, DiBiase accepted the challenge with one stipulation—if Vega lost, he’d become DiBiase’s chauffer.

A pre-recorded segment involved an ex-wife of a professional wrestler who feels that Michaels broke up her marriage. Is this an attempt to put over the champion as a sex symbol or to quell the homophobic chants towards him? Anyways, she feels used and cannot allow it to happen to someone else.

Prior to the next match, we revisit RAW from last week where Diana Smith slapped the taste out of Michaels’ mouth and the subsequent brawl between Davey Boy and Michaels.

Match 2: Fatu versus the “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith (w/ Jim Cornette and Diana Smith)

Smith mistakenly rammed Fatu’s head into the top turnbuckle. C’mon, Davey, do your homework! Obviously, it failed.
Head butt by Smith had the opposite effect as well.
He then crotched Fatu on the top rope then clotheslined him to the floor.
He followed Fatu outside and rammed him into the steps.
After reversing a cross-corner whip, Fatu rammed his shoulder into the ring post.
While Smith distracted referee Earl Hebner, Cornette choked Fatu with his tennis racquet.
Before the commercial break, what looked like the Samoan Mafia was keeping an eye on Fatu.
When we return, Smith had a sleeper on Fatu.
Fatu shot Smith off the ropes and hooked his own sleeper.
A trick knee shot down in South San Francisco broke the hold and sent Fatu between the ropes to the floor.
While Smith distracted Hebner again, Cornette put the shoes to Fatu.
Diana Smith will be on AOL at 9pm tomorrow. Dial up early to ensure you can witness it.
After a slam, Smith missed a leg drop.
IT’S TIME TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Back drop by Fatu was followed by an Ace crusher.
1-2-NO!
Cornette got up on the apron, distracted Fatu, but got clobbered when Smith ran in to attack the Samoan difference maker.
Clothesline by Smith resulted in a 360° sell by Fatu. Awesome!
Running powerslam by Smith got the pin.

Summary: Smith will have to do a lot more to convince me that a) he can hang with Michaels, and b) he’s WWF title material.

Over the weekend on Superstars, the new Rockers played switcheroo and beat the Godwinns to become the #1 contenders.

Tekno Team 2000 was comprised of Erik Watts and Chad Fortune. I’m not sure if they were still doing Missy Hyatt’s laundry by this point in time.
Speaking of valets that are worth TV time, Sunny leads her champions to the ring to ~~squash Erik Watt’s dreams again~~ gain another victory prior to the next PPV.
Double hip toss by TT2000 got a 2 count.
According to Vince, Harvey Wippleman was at ringside grading the officials.
Assisted splash in the corner sent Troy into Zip and got 2.
Double flapjack put the Bodydonnas back in control.
While Skip gave Travis a slingshot belly-to-back suplex, the new Rockers fielded questions as they watched the match backstage on a monitor.
Overhead belly-to-belly suplex by Skip got 2.
Travis gave Skip a cross- corner whip but missed an avalanche.
Double slingshot suplex got 2 for the Bodydonnas.
Vertical suplex by Zip, but he missed a top rope elbow.
Hot tag Travis.
Skip placed Travis on the top turnbuckle then hit a super huracanrana.
Zip then hit a top rope double axe handle and got the pin.

Summary: Tekno Team 2000 held their own with the champions. We’ll see if anything comes from it.

Backstage Jim Ross interviews Vader with Cornette. We revisit the destruction of Yokozuna yet again. But on May 26, Vader will face the recuperated Yokozuna. Lastly, Cornette said that Droese has zero chance next week against Vader.

Goldust and Marlena make their letterbox entrance so that the golden one can do color commentary. Prior to doing so, Goldust hits on Vince. HA!

The match between Goldust and the Undertaker at In Your House will be a casket match. An outraged Goldust gets up to leave, but the eerie music of the Undertaker chases him back to the broadcast table.

Undertaker tossed Owen in the corner and beat him up.
After giving him a cross-corner whip he gave Owen a standing choke.
As Undertaker intimidated referee Tim White, Owen attacked Undertaker’s left leg.
After a commercial break, Goldust walked up to Bearer and tried to get the urn from him.
Goldust loosened Bearer’s tie, unbuttoned his shirt, and then goosed him. Bearer ran screaming to the back.
Meanwhile in the ring, Undertaker missed a big boot.
Owen then went back to work on Undertaker’s leg.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a missile dropkick.
Sharpshooter attempt, but Undertaker applied the choke to block.
Big boot by the Undertaker followed by the chokeslam that sent Owen over the top rope to the floor.
Goldust tried to assist Owen getting back in the ring by goosing him.
Tombstone finished Owen.

Summary: Unfortunately, Owen had no chance in this match as the story here centered on the Undertaker-Goldust casket match at the PPV.

After the match, Goldust tries to sneak up on the Undertaker, but Bearer wheels out a golden coffin. Goldust backs into it then runs scared.

Conclusion: The opening match is the only worthwhile portion of this show. While the rest of the show hype the PPV really well, the matches don’t stand up whatsoever.

Who won? Each show involved some reality-based storylines into its show, yet I felt that the Savage storyline came off better than the Michaels one. With that being said, RAW won in a landslide due to actually being in primetime versus Nitro at its 7pm timeslot. Since Nitro will be on at 7pm for the next two weeks as well, they’d better improve on the time slot promotion or try a different tactic. They’re losing ground!