Live from Chattanooga, TN

Airdate: March 18, 1996

Attendance: 7,009 (6,008 paid)

Hosted by Eric Bischoff, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and Steve “Mongo” McMichael

Opening montage.

Match 1 for the World TV title: Lex Luger (champion) versus Loch Ness


Rating: DUD

Summary: No match thanks to the Giant.

After the match, Jimmy Hart jumped in Luger’s arms, but Luger is still perplexed by his presence.

Luger then makes his way to the announce position. Luger’s on a roll as Heenan applauds his effort.

Tony Schiavone, filling in for the under-the-weather “Mean” Gene Okerlund, stands by the entrance and interviews the ”Megapowers.” Lots of boos can be heard from the live crowd. Hogan steals the “dirtiest player in the game” moniker from Flair. Them’s fightin’ words! Last, but not least, he doesn’t care what the Taskmaster brings out of the Dungeon of Doom. Be careful what you ask for, Hulk.

Match 2: The Steiner Brothers versus Public Enemy


Rating: ***1/2

Summary: Not as hard-hitting as last week, but still pretty damn good.

PEPBOYS Power Pin of the Week sponsors the replay.

Prior to the next match, Eric runs down the card at Uncensored:

  1. For the US title, Konnan defends against Eddie Guerrero.
  2. In a Chicago street fight, Booker T and Sting square off against the Road Warriors.
  3. In a man versus woman match, Madusa tangles with Colonel Parker.
  4. Loch Ness seeks revenge against the Giant.
  5. Four-cage Doomsday match. Stipulations still up in the air.

Match 3: The “Enforcer” Arn Anderson (w/ Woman) versus the Booty Man


Rating: *1/2

Summary: I’d rather have the Booty Man retire than DDP at Uncensored; therefore, I’ll definitely be rooting for Page.

On WCW Saturday Night, the Road Warriors will battle Public Enemy (aired 3/23, taped 3/20). Sting faces Earl Robert Eaton. Eddie Guerrero matches up against Alex Wright Steve Doll. Lastly, Ric Flair wrestles against Sergeant Craig Pitman.

Match 4: The Road Warriors versus the Nasty Boys


Rating: **

Summary: Since the Road Warriors have a match at the PPV, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who would win here. How they got there wasn’t too shabby.

After the match, Hawk nails both Scott and Rick with a plastic chair.

Don’t miss Uncensored this Sunday only on PPV!

Match 5 (Texas tornado): Hulk Hogan and “Macho Man” Randy Savage versus “Nature Boy” Ric Flair and the Taskmaster (w/ Woman)


Rating: *

Summary: Messy sports-entertainment match with a sports-entertainment finish.

After the match, the carnage continues 4-on-2. All of a sudden, the Booty Man hits the ring. Arn motions to the back, and Tiny Lister and Jeep Swenson with Jimmy Hart hit the ring. The last time Lister was involved in professional wrestling was in 1989 for Summerslam. Having also performed in the movie No Holds Barred, Swenson and his gigantic biceps returned to pro wrestling.

Flair gets on the microphone and calls out Hogan. Tony gets in the ring to interview TAEH. The Taskmaster, Flair and Arn all gloat about their team. Flair tells Savage that he’ll bring Elizabeth to visit him in the hospital “after she rides Space Mountain all night long. Woo!” Tell him, Nature Boy!

Conclusion: Napkin meet pen as this show appeared to be booked on the fly. While there was a ton of promotion for the PPV on Sunday, the Hogan nonsense at the end made me shake my head.

TV Rating: 3.60

WWF Monday Night RAW

Taped from San Antonio, TX

Airdate: March 18, 1996 (taped 3/11)

Attendance: 9,364

Hosted by Vince McMahon and Jerry “The King” Lawler

Highlights from Madison Square Garden are shown as Diesel lays out Michaels with a steel chair. Has the WWF ever heard of building suspense?

Opening montage.

Match 1: The “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith (w/ Jim Cornette) versus Jake “The Snake” Roberts


Rating: *

Summary: Poor Davey. He had nothing to work with except a one-trick pony.

Training videos of Michaels and Hart are shown. This takes up quite a bit of time. What’s on Nitro?

Match 2: Goldust (w/ Marlena) versus Fatu


Rating: ½*

Summary: The Piper promo over the phone was better than the match.

Promo for the Ultimate Warrior. Of course Vince had to insert the retirement match at WrestleMania VII that put Savage on the shelf for months.

Recap of last week’s main event preceded a challenge by Roberts on Superstars for a six-man tag team match at WrestleMania.

In the ring, Vince interviews Cornette, Vader, Smith, and Owen. Cornette accepts the challenge then badmouths Yokozuna. He then implicates that Fuji fell down the stairs. Vader gets to shout “Vader Time.”

On the video wall, Yokozuna, in clear and plain English, besmirches Cornette. Roberts then clarifies that if his team win, Yokozuna gets five minutes with Cornette. As a demonstration, Yokozuna bonsai drops a balloon.

Be sure to catch the Iron Man match at WrestleMania XII on March 31 only on PPV.

An actual sell-out (17,000, 14,824 paid) of Madison Square Garden took place over the previous weekend. During the show, Diesel brawls with the Undertaker in the aisle. When they return to the ring, Diesel uses a chair on him then on Bret. After a discussion with Michaels, he WALLOPED Michaels in the back. How dastardly!

Prior to the next match, an ad for the Superstar line is shown using Lex Luger’s music. Huh?

We revisit last week where Diesel floored Bearer.

Match 3: Diesel versus Barry Horowitz


Rating: DUD

Summary: Showcase match for Big Daddy Cool. I’m thinking the aftermath will be better than the match. Let’s see…

Diesel exits the ring and grabs the timekeeper’s wrench. He approaches the casket, knocks on it, and opens it. Inside a Diesel mannequin lies cold as the Undertaker bell tolls. Diesel is beside himself.

A quick peek in the locker room catches a sneak peek at DiBiase, the 1-2-3 Kid, and Tatanka talking strategy.

The Karate Fighters Slam of the Week is Mark Henry’s slam of the King last week.

Next week on RAW Michaels battles Leif Cassidy of the New Rockers while Ahmed Johnson faces Owen.

RAW is sponsored by Snickers and milk.

Match 4 (non-title): WWF Champion Bret “Hitman: Hart versus Tatanka (w/ the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase)


Rating: **1/2

Summary: Despite the odds against Bret, there was no real doubt in the outcome of this match.

Federal Turner Commission: The topics of predatory practices as well as TV industry monopoly are discussed. When asked if the WWF is his latest target, Billionaire Ted uses the famous quote from A Few Good Men. When asked if Billionaire Ted’s trying to put the WWF out of business three times, he finally relents and acquiesces. A plea to write the chairman of the FTC is then shown. Sigh.

Conclusion: The WWF’s current mission may be the road to Wrestlemania, but the quality of programming they put on RAW doesn’t compare one bit to Nitro’s quality. And, truthfully, I don’t believe it’s right for the WWF to make public service announcements citing their agenda during their program. While, within reason, they’re permitted to put anything they want on their program, stuff like this isn’t necessary.

TV Rating: 2.90

Who won? While Nitro wasn’t as red-hot as last week, it was hot enough to get the better portion of wrestling viewers this week. Not counting unopposed weeks, Nitro has won six weeks in a row. Next week contains both the fallout from Uncensored as well as the go-home show for WrestleMania. I can’t wait!

Stay tuned for WCW Uncensored!

Comments? Suggestions? Send them to me at rsg@rockstargary.com and follow me on Twitter (@rockstargary202).

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