Monday Night War week 19

Hosted by Eric Bischoff, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and Steve “Mongo” McMichael

Match 1: “The Total Package” Lex Luger versus “Macho Man” Randy Savage

Prior to the match Eric noted that Savage would get another title shot down the line.
Luger used a chair as well as referee Randy Anderson to distract Savage then nailed him with his forearm.
While Anderson put the chair away Luger tossed Savage over the top rope to the floor. SNEAKY!
Outside the ring Luger rammed Savage face-first into the steel steps.
Savage pulled Luger outside the ring and made him taste the steel railing. It must have tasted like the Bearnaise Royale at Truluck’s.
He then rammed him face-first into the steel steps.
After tossing Luger back inside Savage mounted the top turnbuckle and delivered a double axe handle.
Big “LUGER” chant from the Miami faithful.
Back elbow by Savage.
Three elbow drops by Luger.
Savage draped Luger across the top rope.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle but missed the big elbow. Huh?
Immediately Luger put him in the Torture Rack and got the submission.

Summary: Stunning upset for the #1 contender to the WCW World title. It would appear that Luger has Savage’s number.

Before the next match the Taskmaster drags “Mean” Gene Okerlund to the ring as all members of both the Dungeon of Doom and the Four Horsemen make their presence felt. US champion One Man Gang is with the Dungeon of Doom. In case you aren’t aware WCW aired the post-Starrcade dark match between One Man Gang and Kensuke Sasaki over the weekend, stopped the tape after the controversial pin, and gave the One Man Gang the title.

Regardless, Arn quickly berates Pillman for being underdressed then dismisses the match since there “…will be no winners or losers…just survivors.” Taskmaster offers praise to Flair in addition to the Giant to the Horsemen for the Clash. Conversely he complains about Pillman’s lack of respect. Arn stands up for his group but the “Loose Cannon” spouts off causing Arn to slap him. Benoit offers a stern look toward Arn in response.

E-C-W! E-C-W! E-C-W! The debut of Public Enemy will replace the scrapped Dungeon-Horsemen match.

Match 2: ~~Hugh Morrus and the Taskmaster versus “The Crippler” Chris Benoit and the “Loose Cannon” Brian Pillman~~ The Public Enemy versus the American Males

Stereo back drops followed by stereo clotheslines over the top rope to the floor by the American Males.
Rock then rammed Bagwell back-first into the steel railing.
Bagwell mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a cross body block onto Public Enemy.
Double dropkick by the American Males sent the Public Enemy to the floor.
Sunset flip from Riggs to Grunge got 2.
Dropkick from Riggs to Grunge.
Bagwell delivered a dropkick to Grunge and then Rock.
He then gave each a clothesline.
Powerslam by Bagwell to Grunge.
As Riggs occupied referee Nick Patrick’s attention Bagwell rolled up Grunge.
Rock nailed Bagwell allowing Grunge to roll up Bagwell with a handful of tights for the pin.
Rock also bumped Riggs off the apron and made him eat the steel railing. It must have tasted like the Pork Churrasco at La Rosa.

Summary: Not a great debut for Public Enemy whatsoever. Seeing as their specialty is garbage matches with weapons and tables this should be considered a “who thunk it?” and a disappointment.

After the match Rock whips Bagwell into the steel railing as Grunge sets up two tables. Both men set Bagwell up on the table then Rock mounts the top turnbuckle only to give Bagwell a somersault senton through both tables. E-C-W! E-C-W! E-C-W!

Promotional consideration paid for by Slim Jim featuring “Macho Man” Randy Savage.

Don’t miss Clash XXXII on January 23 live on TBS for the wedding of Colonel Parker and Sister Sherri!

Match 3 for the WCW World title: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (champion w/ Jimmy Hart) versus Sting

Ten-punch count-along for Sting.
Dropkick.
Gorilla press slam.
Flair flip followed by a clothesline to Flair on the apron.
Eric noted that next week Nitro will be live in Las Vegas as Sting and Luger team up for a World tag team title shot against Harlem Heat.
Sting brought Flair back into the ring via vertical suplex.
In his first bit of genuine analysis since his debut back in September Mongo compared Flair’s chops to those by Wahoo McDaniel. Amazing!
Top rope superplex by Sting.
Splash by Sting hit knees.
During the commercial break a promo for SuperBrawl aired. Keep February 11 in mind for that.
Flair leaned against the ropes baiting Sting who leaped and ate them with a side of canvas. CRAFTY!
Knee drop by Flair.
While Hart distracted referee Nick Patrick Flair tossed Sting over the top rope to the floor. SNEAKY!
As Flair maintained Patrick’s attention Hart punted Sting.
After receiving a cross-corner whip Sting delivered a clothesline.
Sleeper by Sting.
Flair countered with a belly-to-back suplex.
Flair flop after a series of shots from Sting.
Missed dropkick by Sting.
Figure-four leg lock countered into an inside cradle by Sting.
Backslide by Sting.
Sunset flip by Sting caused a moon over Miami if you catch my drift.
Gorilla press slam #2.
Flair mounted the top turnbuckle but came down the hard way.
Sting no-sold Flair’s chops.
Gorilla press slam #3.
With Hart on the apron Luger came to the ring.
Stinger splash but Sting ran smack dab into the megaphone just as Luger was taking it from Hart.
Figure-four leg lock by Flair got the pin.

Summary: Yet another chapter is written in the story of Flair versus Sting, and again it writes itself in excellent fashion. This will probably be the best match of the night.

Gene is in the ring and interviews Hogan. The Hulkster informs Sting that Luger is bad news while Savage seconds his motion. In rebuttal Sting wants to hear Luger’s side of the story. Since he wants a title shot Hogan has a problem with Savage’s losses to Luger and questions how he got the shot next week in Vegas. As a proper rebuttal Savage just walks away from Hogan. Gene plugs the main event at the Clash of Hogan/Savage versus Flair/Giant.

Before the match the Taskmaster kicked and intimidated the ringside photographers. How dastardly!
After Meng knocked Hogan outside the ring and occupied referee Randy Anderson’s attention the Taskmaster hammered Hogan.
Nerve hold by Meng.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle but missed the splash.
Axe bomber by Hogan.
Meng nailed Hogan with the spike but only got 2.
Hulk-up time!
Big boot.
The Taskmaster got up on the apron, but Savage ran in to confront him.
After dispatching Savage the Taskmaster lost the spike to Hogan who jabbed Meng and got the pin.

Summary: If there was ever a match to begin booing Hogan (in case you were on the fence) this is the one. Hogan’s creative control not only got him the main event on the show but also a “questionable” win when it wasn’t necessary.

Conclusion: This was a truly strange show with one good match. A minor note which resulted in a big improvement in program quality was lack of pot-shots towards the WWF. As you can see from the rating Public Enemy’s debut was probably watched by every ECW fan on the planet by this point in time, but I wonder how RAW was counterprogrammed.

Attendance: none listed (ZERO sales tax and probably nobody still there by this point)

Meanwhile Dok Hendrix is backstage and notifies us that Razor Ramon will confront Goldust upon his arrival.

Match 1: “The King of Harts” Owen Hart (w/ Jim Cornette) versus Marty Jannetty

Monkey flip by Jannetty.
Clothesline.
Belly-to-belly suplex by Owen.
Backbreaker.
Cross body block from the second rope by Jannetty.
Enziguri by Owen.
Jannetty blocked a Sharpshooter attempt.
Standing dropkick by Owen.
Jannetty countered a shoulder block with a knee lift and a clothesline.
Gutwrench suplex by Owen.
Leg drop.
Blockbuster by Jannetty.
Powerslam.
He then clotheslined Owen over the top rope to the floor.
After a few standing switches Owen tied Jannetty up with a bridge and pinned him. Impressive!

Summary: Really good showcasing of both wrestlers here. I’d love to see these two get more time on a PPV.

Todd Pettengill shills the Royal Rumble this Sunday night only on PPV as well as the “Free for All” on the Preview Channel at 6:30pm beforehand. During the “Free for All” two wrestlers will wrestle for the #30 spot in the Rumble. The loser, however, will receive slot #1. Diesel then cuts a promo followed by a Vader vignette. Besides the Royal Rumble match another match that will take place is Ahmed Johnson versus “Double J” Jeff Jarrett.

Still backstage Dok confirms Ramon’s impending appearance at the arena. While this barely makes any sense it gave the audience something to anticipate. Whatever you do, DON’T SWITCH THE CHANNEL!

In the meantime Sunny seductively shoots pool. Make your own cue stick and 8-ball jokes accordingly.

Match 2: The Ringmaster (w/ the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase) versus Matt Hardy (early beta version)

Matt Hardy, in his High Voltage tights, had ZERO muscle mass whatsoever and SHORT hair. Yikes!
Thesz press by the Ringmaster.
Gourdbuster.
He then missed the running guillotine.
Austin picked up Hardy, whispered to see if he was ready (because Hardy nodded…sigh), and gave him the Stun Gun.
Million Dollar Dream (aka cobra clutch) got the submission.

Summary: Better days were ahead for both of these competitors. Welcome to the WWF, Steve.

Shawn Michaels promotional video followed by a pre-taped Shawn Michaels promo. If you wanted to know where the boyhood dream idea began you can pinpoint it to this moment.

Backstage Dok informs us that Ramon should be here by the time Goldust is interviewed. How appropriate.

For those unaware the Spiders would transform themselves in later years into the Headbangers.
Joined in progress Billy hooked a small package on, I guess, Spider #1.
Rocker Dropper from Billy to #2. Didn’t look crisp.
“Hot tag” Bart who slammed and dropkicked both Spiders.
Sidewinder to #1.
1-2-3.

Summary: Extremely short showcase for the tag champions as they prepare for their match this Sunday.

Billionaire Ted’s ‘Rasslin’ War Room: Ted wonders why he can’t buy the WWF. Russo informs him that the WWF has better athletes, and that (WCW) has “disloyal (Savage), greedy (Okerlund), has-beens from the 80s (Hogan).” Now THAT’S a pot shot. Ted then asks the Huckster if he wants to be called the “Boy Toy.” Sheesh!

While Goldust makes his way to the ring Lawler throws another pot shot at Ted Turner regarding the Time-Warner merger. Wow, I’m amazed at how low they’re actually sinking with this stuff.

When Goldust enters the ring he caresses Vince’s tie and tries to touch his hair. Vince questions Goldust’s intentions and whether or not he is preying upon most men’s homophobic fears. The response from Goldust is priceless: “Mr. Television announcer, is that an extra microphone in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” Oh my God! He proceeds to cut a promo on Ramon referring to him as “naughty boy.”

Be sure to catch the Royal Rumble this Sunday live on PPV for the WWF title match between champion Bret Hart and #1 contender the Undertaker.

Ramon enters the backstage area where Dok rats out Goldust’s location. Methinks Dok would make a terrible witness against the Mafia.

Clothesline by Yankem.
He then escaped a Tombstone by landing on his feet outside the ring.
The Undertaker rammed Yankem shoulder-first into the ring post.
Meanwhile Lawler left the broadcast table and tried to steal the urn from Bearer, but the Undertaker put a stop to that.
As Lawler scampered back to the dressing room Yankem rammed the Undertaker back-first into the ring post.
Single-leg crab by Yankem.
Bear hug.
Belly-to-back suplex by the Undertaker.
In the meantime Vince profusely apologizes to those who are offended by Goldust by claiming his gimmick is to play mind games with other wrestlers like, in this case, Razor Ramon. Way to try to stem the tide with the hate mail there, Mr. McMahon.
Powerslam by Yankem.
Pair of elbow drops.
Tombstone by Yankem, but the Undertaker escaped.
Elbow drop by the Undertaker.
Tombstone.
1-2-3.

Backstage Dok interviews Goldust. All of a sudden Ramon attacks Goldust. He tosses Goldust into a steel railing followed by a closed door. Officials try to break up the melee as Ramon nails Goldust with a trash can. After Ramon nails Goldust with a trash can again Goldust hits Ramon “down there” to curtail the onslaught.

After a commercial break Sunny sits in a tub and lays on the sexual innuendo pretty thick.

We get the replay of the melee followed by a promo for next week when Goldust faces Bret “Hitman” Hart. Vince then runs down the card for the PPV:

For the WWF title: Bret Hart defends against the Undertaker
For the Intercontinental title: Razor Ramon defends against Goldust
For the WWF tag team titles the Smoking Gunns defend against the Body Donnas (subbing for the injured 1-2-3 Kid and injured Sid)
Also Ahmed Johnson faces “Double J” Jeff Jarrett
Lastly the Royal Rumble match itself

Backstage Goldust tries to make a hasty retreat and Ramon hammers him again. He proceeds to ram Goldust into the fuse box. After Ramon tosses him through a door leading outside the arena the two fight in the snow. Upon ramming Ramon into the production truck Goldust escapes in his Cadillac.

Conclusion: What else can I say but counter-program fail? Other than the melee between Ramon and Goldust this show was practically meaningless. It executed its purpose of shilling the Royal Rumble PPV but that’s about it. The Billionaire Ted stuff was particularly mean-spirited as well.

Who won? As I stated earlier I believe the ECW faithful who knew that the Public Enemy were going to appear on Nitro tonight tuned in because WCW dominated the ratings with that huge number.

Since the Royal Rumble usually signifies the beginning of the road to WrestleMania I hope RAW’s effort in the Monday Night War improves. With that being said Nitro needs something new and fresh to retain that high number next week versus the fallout from the Royal Rumble.

In other news this week WCW mandated that wrestlers must leave their title belts behind at TV tapings. This is a direct repercussion from the Madusa/WWF Women’s title trashing debacle on 12/18/95. More repercussions are soon to follow.