Monday Night War week 17

Hosted by Eric Bischoff, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and Steve “Mongo” McMichael

I actually attended this show but haven’t seen the TV version. Let’s see how good it reflects on the small screen.

Match 1: “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson versus “Macho Man” Randy Savage

Deep in the heart of my closet is the same shirt that Arn wore here.
Outside the ring Savage rammed Arn into the steel steps.
He then made Arn taste the steel railing. It must have tasted like the chili cheese slaw dog at the Varsity.
Eric spoiled the result of the RAW Bowl…but I won’t.
Sunset flip by Arn.
Inverted atomic drop by Savage.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle and delivered a double axe handle.
Back elbow.
Single arm DDT on the bad arm of Savage.
Anderson slam on the arm. Classic!
Outside the ring Savage made Arn taste the steel railing again. He must still be hungry. He’ll have the fried peach pies for dessert.
Arn rammed Savage’s arm into the ring post.
Spinning arm hold. Classic!
Arn faked a left cross so Savage ducked which set him up perfectly for the DDT. Big pop for that.
A second DDT attempt led to a ref bump.
Arn pulled some brass knux out of his trunks.
Savage nailed him then grabbed the knux.
He then WALLOPED Arn with them, snuck ‘em back in Arn’s trunks, and got the pin. SNEAKY!

Summary: Turnabout is fair play. More offense from Savage than I anticipated. Good TV match.

Match 2: Lord Steven Regal (w/ Jeeves) versus “The Crippler” Chris Benoit

Series of head butts by Regal.
Hank Aaron was seated in the front row.
Cravat by Regal.
German suplex by Benoit.
Butterfly suplex by Regal called correctly by Eric. NO WAY!
Series of pinfall attempts by Regal were unsuccessful.
Clothesline by Benoit.
Benoit placed Regal on the top turnbuckle but Regal fought back.
As Regal attempted to dismount the top turnbuckle Benoit gave him the electric chair.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle but missed the diving head butt.
Tombstone attempt by Regal reversed into one by Benoit.
Regal rolled out of the ring. Benoit attempted a plancha but hit nothing but the mats atop the concrete floor. SPLAT!
Regal rolled him in the ring, grabbed the tights, and got the pin. Benoit was out cold!

Summary: Stiff match with a scary ending. I’d love to see these guys get more than five minutes on PPV.

“Mean” Gene Okerlund is in the ring with three of the Four Horsemen. Pillman chastises Benoit for losing. He then slips a TV-14 comment in before taking Arn to task for losing as well. Next he referred to the Dungeon of Doom as the “dungeon of misfit toys.” Arn questions Pillman’s war philosophy then stands behind the shield that is the unity of the Four Horsemen.

Meanwhile the Taskmaster attempts to run to the ring but is being restrained by Jimmy Hart. The Giant holds back both the Zodiac and the Taskmaster as they want to rip Pillman to shreds.

On WCW Saturday Night the American Males will face Arn Anderson and Brian Pillman (aired 1/6, taped 11/29). In addition Lex Luger faces Cobra (taped 11/30).

Match 3: “The Total Package” Lex Luger and Sting versus the Super Assassins (w/ Colonel Parker)

For those unaware the Super Assassins were the Powers of Pain in the WWF (Barbarian and Warlord). This would be Warlord’s only appearance on Nitro due to a serious car accident that herniated three discs in his neck.
Just as the match began Sergeant Craig “Pitbull” Pittman invaded the broadcast table for the second time and asked Mongo to be his manager. Now that’s reaching the bottom of the barrel! Mongo declined his offer.
Dropkick from Sting to Super Assassin #2 (Warlord).
Double-team maneuver by the Super Assassins didn’t work properly.
Sting gave Super Assassin #1 (Barbarian) an inverted atomic drop.
Clothesline by Sting to #2.
He then clotheslined #2 over the top rope to the floor.
#1 sent Sting outside the ring then #2 made Sting taste the steel railing. It must have tasted like the porcini rubbed Delmonico at Capital Grille. Mm!
Body Breaker by #1 to Sting. I wonder if he was paying tribute to “The Body” with that move.
Double shoulder block to Sting.
False tag.
Clothesline from the top rope/vertical suplex combo by the Super Assassins to Sting. Innovative!
Powerbomb by #1.
#1 then mounted the top turnbuckle but missed the diving head butt.
Hot tag Luger.
Clothesline in the corner by Luger to #1.
Luger reversed an Irish whip sending the Assassins into one another (but not knocking #2 off the apron).
He then put #1 in the Torture Rack.
Sting used the middle rope to “neutralize” #1 then put him in the Scorpion death lock.
Stereo submissions got the victory for Luger and Sting.

Summary: To the untrained eye it would appear that a match between these two would be a squash; however, that was not the case here. The Super Assassins did well in their role, but Sting and Luger are main event players and were staying there at this point in time.

By the entrance Gene interviews the Giant with Hart. While the Giant mangles his promo highlights of Hogan wielding a chair from two weeks ago are shown.

Promotional consideration paid for by the following: Slim Jim featuring former WCW World champion Randy Savage.

On Tuesday, January 23 Clash XXXII will be shown live on TBS from Las Vegas, NV at 8:05pm EST. By the way that’s two days AFTER the WWF Royal Rumble.

Match 4 for the WCW World title: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (champion) versus Hulk Hogan

Five days after that gory blade job at Starrcade Flair’s still wearing a band aid on his forehead. Now THAT’S attention to detail.
Minor note here: Hogan’s mustache had grown back.
After receiving a few chops by Flair Hogan stopped selling them. Oh boy.
Upon receiving a cross-corner whip Flair hit a back elbow.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle but came down the hard way.
Clothesline by Hogan.
Another sent Flair over the top rope to the floor.
He then made Flair taste the steel railing. It must have tasted like the sweet tea free range chicken at Fandangles.
Flair no-sold it and whipped Hogan into the steel railing.
Hogan no-sold it and clotheslined Flair.
Flair flip, and he landed on the apron.
Hogan then clotheslined him down.
Chop block by Flair. Personal foul. Defense #0. 15 yards. First down.
Knee drop on the leg.
Figure-four leg lock countered by Hogan.
Hart ran out to support Flair and distract Hogan.
Vertical suplex by Flair.
Power kick-out signaled Hulk-up time.
The crowd was NOT happy.
Big boot.
Leg drop.
Hart jumped on the apron and Hogan grabbed him.
After Hogan nailed Hart sending him to the floor Arn ran in and HAMMERED Hogan with the brass knux.
Oh my God! Hogan no-sold it.
Hogan retrieved the brass knux and showed them to referee Randy Anderson who promptly called for the bell.

Summary: As I have stated previously suspension of disbelief is extremely important when watching wrestling. No-selling a brass knux spot is INEXCUSABLE! Typical Flair-Hogan match with a crappy finish.

After the match Pillman and Benoit join their fellow Horsemen and eat right hands from the Hulkster. Are you fucking kidding me? All Four Horsemen cower in fear to Hogan as he brandishes the brass knux.

Meanwhile the Giant runs in with a bar stool. If I’m not mistaken it’s the one that was next to Heenan at the bar during Starrcade. Regardless Savage runs in before Giant can split Hogan’s coconut and grabs the stool away from him. One right hand from Hogan sends the Giant through the ropes to the floor.

Upon grabbing a black cover of some kind the Giant attempts to return to the ring, but the Zodiac restrains him. He tells the Giant: “No! Friend!” before the Giant retreats.

Gene interviews Hogan and Savage in the ring. Boos can be heard in the crowd (I was amongst that group). Hogan challenges Flair and Arn to a tag match against the Monster Maniacs next week on Nitro. He then uses the same exact catchphrase that Savage used at Starrcade so they obviously watched Toy Story together over the Christmas holidays. After the promo Hogan “hides” the knux in his trunks.

Conclusion: The Hogan nonsense after the main event truly destroyed all the good momentum this show had going for it. With Hogan back in WCW the booking took a complete 180° turn from what transpired at Starrcade. I fear for future episodes of Nitro at this point.

First of all, I have to take the WWE Network to task for NOT having this episode in their catalogue. I won’t reveal the source of the video I am scrutinizing but will continue to view the WWE Network episodes of RAW following this particular one.

College football-themed introduction for the RAW Bowl is followed by the mentioning of the Nacho Man, the Huckster, Scheme Gene, and Billionaire Ted. Oh no. In an empty locker room Brother Love continues his pre-game prayer.

Sid and the 1-2-3 Kid (w/ the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase)
Razor Ramon and Savio Vega
Owen Hart and Yokozuna (w/ Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji)
WWF tag team champions the Smoking Gunns

Each of the participants was wearing a different colored jersey.
Goldust’s usher handed golden roses to Ramon but was annihilated as Goldust lurked nearby.
There’s one time out per team; otherwise it’s a four corners elimination tag match.
Dropkick by Bart to Owen.
Owen tagged in Billy.
After a quick exhibition they ran and tagged both Owen and Yokozuna.
Upon running into Yokozuna as if he hit the Great Wall of China Owen tagged Vega in.
Body slam by Yokozuna and he tagged in the Kid.
Vega avoided a spinning heel kick and delivered a clothesline.
He then gave the Kid a spinning heel kick of his own.
After Owen tagged in he gave Vega a spinning heel kick. It must be tonight’s special.
Lawler interviewed the RAW Bowl queen Ashley during the match.
Clothesline from Bart to Sid.
Delayed vertical suplex by Bart.
Enziguri from Owen to Vega.
Sharpshooter attempt thwarted by Vega.
Spinning heel kick by the Kid.
In the meantime Brother Love’s pre-game prayer had gone into overtime.
After giving Vega a cross-corner whip the Kid missed on a charge and tied himself to the Tree of Woe.
Hot tag Ramon.
Fallaway slam by Ramon to the Kid.
As Ramon signaled for the Razor’s Edge the Kid called time out. SMART!
Nevertheless Ramon delivered it to the Kid.
After DiBiase got up on the apron referee Earl Hebner (wearing a football official’s uniform) threw the penalty flag.
The distraction allowed Sid to nail Ramon from behind.
With the Kid atop Ramon both Ramon and Vega were eliminated.
Vertical suplex from Owen to Bart.
Owen mounted the top turnbuckle but missed the splash.
Hot tag Billy.
After getting kicked in the back of the head by the Kid Billy received a swinging neckbreaker from Owen.
Before Yokozuna could deliver the Bonsai drop Bart pulled Billy to safety and threw Owen to the wolves.
Owen got SQUISHED!
Dropkick from Bart knocked Yokozuna outside the ring.
Billy pinned Owen.
While Bart occupied Hebner’s attention the Kid delivered a dropkick to Billy in the corner.
Sid then gave Billy a clothesline causing a 360° sell by Billy. Awesome!
Big boot by Sid.
Leg drop got 2.
Inside cradle by Billy got 2.
Chokeslam.
While Sid held Billy the Kid mounted the top turnbuckle. Ramon returned to the ring and sent the Kid into Sid.
Billy rolled Sid up for the pin.
The Smoking Gunns won.

Summary: That was a very entertaining elimination tag match in spite of all the football metaphors on commentary. Since this was a one-time experiment I’d recommend seeking this match out if you can locate it.

According to Vince Shawn Michaels is holding a press conference next week on RAW.

Dok Hendrix hypes the upcoming match between Diesel and King Mabel. Back in the locker room “Jumbo” Jim Ross (seriously?) informs us that Diesel wants to “kick the King’s can.” Hendrix then plugs the Royal Rumble on January 21 only on PPV. I then intentionally ignore the football references Hendrix makes towards both the WWF title match between Bret and the Undertaker as well as the grudge match between Ahmed Johnson and “Double J” Jeff Jarrett. Again we see the highlight of the THUD heard ‘round the world. Finally Hendrix hypes the Royal Rumble match itself.

Accordingly Vince hypes a special entrant in the 1996 Royal Rumble that has never worked in the WWF before.

We then get a rebroadcast of the hog pen match between Henry Godwinn and Hunter Hearst Helmsley from IYH V. I guess since the buyrate for the show was only 0.35 that giving it away on free TV makes sense. I wonder if it makes a difference in the ratings. If you want to read my review of this match be sure to read my recap of IYH V.

After a commercial break the Nacho Man bites into what is supposed to be a Slim Jim but it hurts his mouth since he’s old. Sigh.

Next week on RAW a replay of the WWF title match from IYH V will be shown. Also Hakushi will face Jarrett.

Prior to the bell Diesel nailed Mabel from behind.
Big boot.
1-2-3.

After the match Diesel brings Mo in the hard way and gives him a Jackknife powerbomb. He then escorts the RAW Bowl queen backstage. The King was cockblocked!

Back in the locker room the Brooklyn Brawler bestows the (Steve) Lombardi trophy to the Smoking Gunns. As you would imagine the entire locker room mauls the Brawler for this stupidity. The Brawler even receives a Lipton Brisk tea bath courtesy of the Smoking Gunns.

At the Royal Rumble the following participants have entered: Diesel, “The King of Harts” Owen Hart, “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith, Dory Funk, Jr. (for his All-Japan connection), Savio Vega, King Mabel, Bam Bam Bigelow, Barry Horowitz, Yokozuna, Tatanka, and lastly, if you can believe it, VADER!

Billionaire Ted’s ‘Rasslin’ War Room: The “board” (including Vince Russo) discusses the Razor’s Edge (shown from a film projector) and asks the Huckster if he can perform the move. Huckster replies in a negative way and is ashamed. The Pearl River Plunge by Ahmed Johnson is offered to the Nacho Man who also reacts negatively. In addition the jackknife powerbomb by Diesel is shown and denied by the Nacho Man in turn. Next a top turnbuckle splash by Shawn Michaels is shown, and the Huckster rebuts with “at my age, my feet don’t leave the ground.” Billionaire Ted asks them what they CAN do. They proceed to flex and look idiotic in the process. This was presented all in the name of the WWF New Generation which is “on top of the hill…not over it.” Sheesh!

Conclusion: So Vince McMahon fires back at all the pot shots and show spoilers thrown his way by Eric Bischoff over on Nitro. The Billionaire Ted skit was meant as satire and was relatively funny. I didn’t like it in ’96 and still don’t appreciate it today, but that’s just my $.02. As far as the rest of the show is concerned the RAW Bowl was a decent match that was worth watching. Although I wasn’t in favor of replaying the hog pen match from the PPV on RAW it was a tactical move in the Monday Night War that would actually be repeated. Did it make a difference though?

Who won? You bet it did. RAW squeaks out a victory here notwithstanding Bischoff’s attempts to spoil it. Next week RAW replays the main event from IYH V (blood included) while Nitro is live with a Hogan/Savage versus Flair/Arn tag match. I’m curious to find out who wins.

If I can add one thing the ending to both programs ruined each for me. While, for the most part, I enjoyed watching these shows their endings insulted my intelligence. Let’s hope that doesn’t continue.