Monday Night War week 15

Hosted by Eric Bischoff, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and Steve “Mongo” McMichael

Whoa! Wait a minute! Alundra Blayze (current WWF women’s champion) invades the broadcast table. She changes her name back to Madusa then holds up the WWF Women’s championship belt. In what can be described as a SERIOUS shot in the Monday Night War she dumps the belt into a trash can. Goodbye, WWF Women’s division. Hello WCW Women’s division? Madusa thinks so.

(Historical note: Madusa “pulled” the WWF women’s belt out of the trash at the 2015 WWE Hall of Fame ceremony.)

So let’s put this in perspective: Debrah Miceli’s contract expired while she was still champion. Instead of having her lose at Survivor Series or the RAW taping thereafter they left the title on her, and this occurred. Ramifications of this incident were felt from this point forward in the Monday Night War.

Meanwhile former Chicago Bear #72 William “Refrigerator” Perry acts as security for the broadcast team. Methinks the Monday Night War is becoming a “thing” to watch.

Flair showboated one time too many and received a dropkick in the back by Guerrero.
Belly-to-back suplex by Flair countered with a pair of dropkicks by Guerrero.
Unfortunately dropkick #4 hit nothing but air.
Guerrero countered a figure-four attempt with an inside cradle for 2.
Backslide by Guerrero.
Knee to the head by Flair.
Tornado DDT by Guerrero.
Huracanrana.
Guerrero mounted the top turnbuckle, but Flair bumped the top rope sending Eddie straight down to the floor!
Rope-assisted figure-four leg lock.
Guerrero passed out and got pinned in the figure-four.

Summary: Give these guys fifteen more minutes and watch that star rating soar!

After the match “the Enforcer” Arn Anderson comes to the ring to be interviewed by “Mean” Gene Okerlund. According to Arn the Horsemen are on a roll. We revisit the highlights of last week when they gave Orndorff a spike piledriver on the concrete floor.

All of a sudden the Taskmaster and Jimmy Hart interrupt. The Taskmaster questions the Horsemen regarding Pillman’s trashing the Dungeon of Doom. Like a true man’s man Arn stands up for the Horsemen.

Sergeant Craig “Pitbull” Pittman invades the broadcast booth and asks Heenan to manage him. Due to his being a broadcast journalist Heenan turns him down but will refer him to another manager.

Before the next match ring announcer David Penzer was either trying to incite the crowd coming out of commercial or he needs rotator cuff surgery. You make the call!

Match 2: “The Total Package” Lex Luger (w/ Jimmy Hart) versus Marcus Bagwell (w/ Scotty Riggs)

Hip toss by Luger.
Monkey flip by Bagwell.
Dropkick followed by an arm drag sent Luger to the apron.
Another dropkick sent Luger into the steel railing. Tasted like the FHT Cassoulet at the Frog Hollow Tavern.
A pair of clotheslines by Bagwell.
Flying forearm. Looked like he’s been talking to Terry Taylor.
Splash hit knees.
Powerslam by Luger.
Torture Rack got the submission.

Summary: Considering Bagwell was a tag team wrestler at this point in his career the ending wasn’t in doubt.

Back at the entrance Gene interviews Luger and Hart. Both men claim Luger is the uncrowned champion.

On WCW Saturday Night Johnny B. Badd defends the World TV title against Arn Anderson (aired 12/23, taped 11/29). In addition “Das Wunderkind” Alex Wright faces VK Wallstreet. Also Cobra takes on Pittman (taped 11/30). Luger and Sting will also be there.

For those unaware Jeeves was Gary Hedrick who also portrayed Wildcat Willie.
Poor Sting. He still had his Cincinnati Bengal painted face, but the Bengals went 7-9 in ’95.
Bobby Eaton w/o mullet = not the same
The bored audience performed the wave.
Backbreaker by Eaton.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle but missed a knee drop.
Stinger Splash.
Scorpion death lock got the submission.

Summary: Another showcase match in a series of them tonight. Just like Luger Sting is ready for the triangle match at the PPV.

In the ring Gene interviews Sting. He wants to become a six-time World champion while Gene clamors for egg nog.

Match 4 for the WCW World title: “Macho Man” Randy Savage (champion) versus the Giant (w/ the Taskmaster and Jimmy Hart)

Can Savage get a receipt for the chokeslam on the concrete floor?
Savage jumped on the Giant’s back but got thrown down.
Jimmy Hart got up on the apron.
A knee in the back of the Giant sent him into Hart which sent the “Mouth of the South” back down to the floor in a heap.
Bear hug by the Giant.
A pair of clotheslines by Savage couldn’t knock the Giant off his feet.
Backbreaker by the Giant.
Standing choke. After the Giant broke the hold Savage’s momentum took him to the floor.
The Giant followed and pressed him over the top rope back into the ring. Impressive!
He then mounted the top turnbuckle but missed the splash. Wow!
In response Savage mounted the top turnbuckle and hit the big elbow.
Pinfall attempt got 2 and a MONSTROUS kick-out by the Giant.
All signs point to a new champion. Will it happen?
Holy 777s, Batman! The Giant delivered a dropkick! Someone notify the FAA!
Outside the ring the Giant ripped up some of the mats and tried to suplex Savage.
Savage wisely grabbed the ropes and the Giant landed HARD on the concrete. OUCH!
CHOKESLAM!
Leg drop.
The crowd erupted as Hogan ran in with a chair.
The Giant won by DQ.

Summary: I’m truly amazed that the Giant could do some aerial maneuvers. On top of that he had the title victory firmly in hand until the screwjob finish.

As Heenan and Mongo mention Hogan’s probationary status Hulk nails the Taskmaster who was on the apron then drills the Giant in the head with a chair. Referee Randy Anderson tries to stop him and eats a chair shot. Two more chair shots send the Giant to the floor. Hogan nails the Taskmaster again as the crowd loses their minds. William Perry and Mongo, of all people, come to the ring to calm the crazed Hulkster. Doug Dillenger gets involved and eats a chair shot to the back. Add one more chair shot to the Giant to Hogan’s total before order is restored. The crowd chants for Hogan. Even the Hogan impersonator who sits in the front row is ecstatic.

In the ring Gene interviews Hogan and Savage. He brings up the subject of suspension while the Giant tries to return to the ring but was being restrained by the Taskmaster and Pittman. Hogan then runs and nails him with a chair AGAIN. Make that twice. He then nails the Taskmaster with the chair and hits the Giant yet again. Add another shot to the Taskmaster and a final one to the Giant before Hogan is finally satisfied. I believe his goose is cooked.

Back in the ring Hogan wants a title shot. Savage mentions his title defense next week against Flair as Hogan expresses his confidence in him. Next Savage mentions his commitments at Starrcade but ultimately promises a date against Hogan. The Hulkster begs the crowd for their reaction for a potential match to large approval.

Eric promotes next week’s main event and the World Cup at Starrcade before signing off for the evening.

Conclusion: If Hogan wanted a Christmas vacation so badly NINE chair shots to the Giant alone never mind the shots to Anderson, Dillenger, and the Taskmaster ought to put him on the shelf for a while. The positivity you can derive from tonight’s show is that Hogan can be exciting in WCW when he’s called upon to do so.

As far as the rest of the program is concerned it was a huge showcase for Starrcade with some controversy mixed in with it. The ending was extremely non-family-friendly and quite violent. All in all, it was an exciting episode that shouldn’t be missed. But how did it fare against RAW?

Prior to our first match we revisit the THUD heard ‘round the world as Jeff Jarrett HAMMERED Ahmed Johnson with his plaque last night at IYH.

The future “Chosen One” came to the ring to barely any reception whatsoever.
Jumping DDT by Jarrett no-sold by Fatu.
Swinging neckbreaker by Jarrett.
Running guillotine.
Outside the ring Jarrett rammed Fatu into the steel steps.
Knee to the midsection by Jarrett.
He then mounted the second turnbuckle and delivered a double axe handle.
Make that 2.
A third trip to the second turnbuckle earned Jarrett a shot to the midsection.
Powerslam by Fatu.
Clothesline in the corner.
Backbreaker.
Ace Crusher but Fatu hurt his shoulder.
After sending Fatu into the ring post shoulder-first Jarrett…
Never mind. Johnson ran in and nailed Jarrett for the DQ.

After the match Johnson set Jarrett up for the spinebuster, but Jarrett hit the high road.

In the stands Dok Hendrix interviews interim commissioner Gorilla Monsoon. Dok mentions that the Royal Rumble will take place on January 21 only on PPV. WWF champion Bret “Hitman” Hart will defend his title against the Undertaker much to Diesel’s chagrin. Monsoon states that Jarrett will face Johnson instead of participating in the Rumble. A list of Royal Rumble participants will be disclosed on Superstars.

We revisit the interview from last night of Paul Bearer and the Undertaker that was interrupted by Diesel.

Before the match Dok shills Akklaim’s WrestleMania the arcade game. There’s still time before Christmas to order yours today!

Not to besmirch the participants here but whatever happened to Avatar?
Vince asked Lawler for his prediction in this match. Not only did Lawler choose the heel but also he chose a fellow Tennessean.
While Landel may have somewhat resembled Flair he had ZERO muscle tone unlike Flair.
As Landel blew a kiss toward the camera the crowd could give two shits about this match. Where’s the popcorn?
Vince noted that Helmsley needed 14 stitches to close the wound on his back from the hog pen match last night. OUCH!
As you can tell I give as much of a shit about this match as the crowd did.
Finally after the crowd went comatose Holly hit a DDT.
Ten-punch count-along.
Huracanrana.
Clothesline.
Make that 2.
Dropkick missed.
Patented corkscrew elbow drop by Landel got the pin.

Summary: ZERO redeeming value for this match. Considering RAW was usually taped this match should not have been LIVE. Adding some audio-sweetening does wonders to matches such as these. Next!

Promotional consideration paid for by the following: Milton Bradley’s Hot Shots, Karate Fighters, and Ricochet.

Brother Love interviews the “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase. Unlike Santa Claus DiBiase introduces us to Xanta Claus. According to DiBiase Xanta Claus resides at the South Pole rather than the North Pole. Additionally DiBiase predicts that Sid and the 1-2-3 Kid will become WWF tag team champions. What he doesn’t predict is that he may have a new recruit coming soon that was quite the master of the ring.

According to Vince next week’s show is pre-empted for Christmas so Nitro will air unopposed. Well, he didn’t mention that last part.

Goldust and his usher sit near the entrance but are largely ignored by Ramon. Instead of his customary fireworks Ramon receives gold dust from above. Insert popular powdered narcotic joke at your own discretion.

Match 3 for the WWF Intercontinental title: Razor Ramon (champion) versus Yokozuna (w/ Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji)

Body slam by Yokozuna but he missed an elbow drop.
Clothesline by Ramon.
Sunset flip by Ramon. Yokozuna sat down but Ramon avoided getting SQUISHED.
Nerve pinch by Yokozuna.
Clothesline.
Flying clothesline by Ramon put Yokozuna down on the mat.
Ramon mounted the second turnbuckle and delivered a bulldog.
Suddenly the lights began to flicker.
The Undertaker made his way to the ring.
Yokozuna hightailed it backstage.
Ramon won by countout.

Summary: Utter dreck. Ramon could barely do anything with the barely mobile Yokozuna.

After the match a very politically incorrect sign is held up by a fan denigrating Goldust.

Promotional consideration by Akklaim’s WrestleMania the arcade game, NFL Quarterback Club ’96, and Erector.

By the entrance Dok interviews Ramon. According to Ramon he only prefers the ladies. He dodges the question about the contents of the letter for the sake of the younger viewers. In spite of not revealing its contents Lawler states he’s “embarrassed” by the letter.

In anticipation of Shawn Michaels’ imminent retirement (*cough*BS*cough*) a video highlighting his career is shown. “Tell Me A Lie” by Fonda Feingold is playing behind the video. I wonder how long his “retirement” will last.

Conclusion: I truly get the feeling that once Vince was notified that Madusa dumped the WWF Women’s belt in a trash can the program went off the rails. This episode is 99% WORTHLESS and awful. Stay as far away from it as you can.

Who won? Is there even a question? The ratings were close, but the quality was VASTLY different as Nitro won the final battle of 1995. Next week’s unopposed so I wonder if Nitro was taped. Stay tuned!