Get your tissues ready! It’s time for the final episode of The Main Event. No, my eyes aren’t red from crying. It’s the eclipse, I swear.
We open the show with Hogan visiting American military bases for the USO. There’s absolutely no truth to the rumor that he replaced gun powder with python powder. Sorry, Hulkamaniacs.
Match 1: Hulk Hogan & Tugboat versus Earthquake & Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart)
After Bravo lost a lock-up, he charged and ate a back drop from Hogan.
Hart then got up on the apron only to get nailed by Hogan.
Upon delivering an atomic drop, Hogan, along with Tugboat, pinballed Bravo between them.
Well, that would have been more exciting than what actually transpired.
Tugboat tagged in, gave Bravo a cross corner whip, but ate a mule kick on his follow-through.
As Bravo delivered an inverted atomic drop, he tagged out.
Earthquake then missed an elbow drop allowing Tugboat to tag in Hogan.
When Bravo came in, Hogan slammed him.
He then slammed Earthquake, gave him a cross corner whip, and followed with a corner clothesline.
Next, he gave Earthquake the ten-punch count-along and bit him. I bet he tasted like Canadian moose.
Tugboat tagged in, and he and Hogan delivered a double big boot to Earthquake.
As Tugboat charged, he ate boot from Earthquake. Are moose hooves a delicacy in Canada?
When Earthquake gave Tugboat an elbow drop, he only got 2 thanks to a save by Hogan.
Bravo tagged in and delivered a series of elbow drops to Tugboat.
While Hogan distracted referee Earl Hebner, Earthquake and Bravo gave Tugboat a double clothesline.
Tugboat then reversed a cross corner whip and hit an avalanche.
After a clothesline by Tugboat, Bravo distracted Hebner so that Hart could WALLOP Tugboat with the megaphone. How dastardly!
As the show took a commercial break, Vince used an expression from the musical The Music Man. Unfortunately, he mistook Macon for Mason City.
When the show resumed, Earthquake got 2.
A false tag occurred, and Earthquake and Bravo gave Tugboat a double slam.
While Earthquake set up for the Earthquake splash, Hogan came in and nailed him.
Hot tag Hogan.
He then delivered the big boot and pinned Bravo.
Summary: Typical Hogan match that the Macon faithful ate up with a spoon.
After the match, Hogan poses for the Macon faithful.
Meanwhile, we revisit Royal Rumble ’91 when Sherri pleaded for a title match for Savage. We then see portions of the WWF title match with Savage’s heinous shenanigans.
Back in the pink locker room, “Mean” Gene Okerlund interviews Slaughter and an adamant General Adnan. Perhaps a little more fiber in his diet would calm him down.
Match 2 for the WWF title: Sgt. Slaughter (champion w/ Gen. Adnan) versus “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan (w/ Hulk Hogan)
As Duggan made his entrance, Hogan joined him while waving the American flag.
According to Vince, referee Joey Marella ejected Hogan from ringside.
While the Macon faithful chanted “U-S-A,” Duggan reversed a cross corner whip and repeatedly nailed Slaughter.
He then gave Slaughter a cross corner whip followed by a back drop.
Upon clotheslining Slaughter over the top rope to the floor, Duggan tried to slam him. On the other hand, Adnan tripped Duggan. That got 2.
When Duggan turned his attention to Adnan, he missed a haymaker.
Adnan then grabbed Duggan, but Slaughter mistakenly nailed Adnan.
As Duggan gave Slaughter another cross corner whip, he followed with a back elbow.
I must apologize if this match seems even somewhat exciting thus far.
With Duggan draped over the apron, Slaughter leaped from it and hit an elbow smash.
Adnan then distracted Marella so that Slaughter could nail Duggan with his own 2x4. SNEAKY!
After an arrogant cover, Slaughter only got 2.
Duggan came back and gave Slaughter a third cross corner whip. That resulted in Slaughter‘s bumping over the top turnbuckle to the floor.
When Duggan joined Slaughter outside the ring, he rammed him face-first into the steps.
He then made Slaughter HIT THE POLE.
After Adnan nailed Duggan from behind, Duggan sauntered after him.
Meanwhile, Slaughter grabbed a steel chair and CROWNED Duggan with it.
Marella then called for the bell disqualifying Slaughter.
Summary: Earlier in January, Duggan had been doing jobs to Slaughter on the house show circuit. Why wouldn’t he put Slaughter over on nationwide TV? He could regain his heat either after the match or closer to WrestleMania VII, no?
After the match, Slaughter tosses Duggan back into the ring, smashes his back with the steel chair, and whips Duggan with the riding crop. When Hogan comes to rescue Duggan, Slaughter WALLOPS him with the chair. While the Macon faithful again chants “U-S-A,” Hogan assists Duggan and waves the American flag.
Prior to the next match, Okerlund interviews the Road Warriors in the blue locker room. They attempt to influence the Gross Domestic Product by proving that American inventions like themselves are still tough. I don’t think that argument will work on the Senate floor.
Match 3: The Road Warriors versus the Orient Express (w/ Mr. Fuji)
After a leap frog, Animal delivered a powerslam to Kato.
Tanaka then came in and received a double back drop.
In an entertaining sequence, Animal initially distracted referee Danny Davis so that Hawk could double-clothesline the Orient Express.
Somehow, he missed Kato who escaped, but Animal gorilla-pressed him back into the ring.
Following that, Hawk clotheslined him over the top rope to the floor.
To put the cherry on top, Animal clotheslined him on the floor. Kato celebrated the sequence with a 360° sell. Woohoo!
Tanaka tagged in, flipped out of a hip toss, but received a clothesline from Animal. He also celebrated with a 360° sell. Double woohoo!
After Animal gave the Orient Express a double noggin knocker, Fuji got up on the apron and tossed salt into his eyes.
The Orient Express then gave Animal an aided leap frog body guillotine, but Animal came back with a double clothesline. After all, the Road Warriors knew how to beat the Midnight Express back in 1988.
Hot tag Hawk.
While Hawk cleaned house, he nailed Fuji on the apron.
He then gave Kato a cross corner whip and whipped Animal into him.
To complete the massacre, the Road Warriors hit the Doomsday Device.
The Road Warriors won.
Summary: Great selling by the Orient Express as the Road Warriors DEMOLISHED them.
After a commercial break, Okerlund interviews WWF President Jack Tunney in the ring. As Okerlund listed a handful of contenders, Tunney decreed that Hulk Hogan will challenge Slaughter for the WWF title at WrestleMania VII. But will the show still emanate from the L.A. Coliseum?
Back in the pink locker room, Sean Mooney interviews Slaughter who cuts a promo on Hogan.
In the ring, Okerlund interviews Hogan who uses war euphemisms to cut a promo on Slaughter. He then recites the Pledge of Allegiance with the Macon faithful. To finish the show, Hogan waves the American flag. C’mon, Hulkster, go all in for America!
Conclusion: Due to falling ratings, this was the final episode of The Main Event. The first three Main Event telecasts scored 15.2, 11.6, and 12.8 while this show only scored a 6.7. OUCH! As far as the content of the show goes, it was a giant advertisement for Hogan versus Slaughter at WrestleMania VII. The matches, while dreadful, were meaningless compared to the promos by Slaughter and Hogan. Regrettably, unless you’re a die-hard Hulkamaniac, I’d pass on this one.