WWF Survivor Series '96

For those interested, Bart Gunn, “Sparkplug” Bob Holly, Aldo Montoya, & Jesse James beat Billy Gunn, Justin “Hawk” Bradshaw, the Sultan, & Salvatore Sincere (w/ Zebekiah & the Iron Sheik) during the Free for All.

Match 1 (Survivor): Doug Furnas, Phil Lafon, & the Godwinns (w/ Hillbilly Jim) versus Owen Hart, the “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith, & the New Rockers (w/ Clarence Mason)

Jannetty gave LaFon a monkey flip, but LaFon landed on his feet.
LaFon responded with a clothesline that resulted in a 360° sell by Jannetty. Woohoo!
Cassidy tagged in, baited LaFon, and gave him a dragon screw leg whip.
Phineas tagged in, spat in his hands, and wiped his hair. Ross asked if Hillary Clinton ever did that. HA!
After a slam, Cassidy tried again, but Phineas slammed him instead.
As Phineas came off the ropes, Jannetty put a knee into his back. Cassidy then clotheslined him down to the mat.
Owen tagged in, and he and Smith broke the wishbone on Phineas.
While Owen distracted referee Jack Doan, Cassidy choked Phineas using the second rope.
Cassidy tagged in, clotheslined Phineas, and delivered a leg drop.
Jannetty tagged in and nailed Phineas with a flying back elbow.
After a face plant, Jannetty mounted the top turnbuckle but got caught and crotched.
Phineas tried to join him but got shoved down.
Next, Jannetty attempted an elbow drop from the second rope but came up empty.
Henry tagged in, whipped Jannetty into the corner, but ate boot on his follow-through.
When Jannetty gave Henry a cross-corner whip, Phineas softened the blow.
However, when Henry gave Jannetty a cross-corner whip, he knew what was going to happen, whipped Jannetty back into the original corner, and kicked Cassidy. D’oh!
Henry then gave Jannetty the Slop Drop and pinned him.
The faces led 4-3.
Owen came in, delivered a spinning heel kick, and pinned Henry.
The match is tied 3-3.
Phineas came in and tossed Owen over the top rope to the floor. I realize that he’s a few bricks short of a full load, but does he think this is the Royal Rumble?
Nonetheless, Owen tagged out as Phineas clotheslined him over the top rope to the floor.
Smith came in, gave Phineas a running powerslam, and pinned him.
The heels led 3-2.
Furnas came in, attempted a dropkick, but missed. Was Smith sober? Or did he drink too many of these?

Regardless, Cassidy tagged in and gave Furnas a back elbow.
He then gave Furnas a uranage for 2 with a HUGE kick-out.
Smith came in, tagged in Owen, and gave Furnas an Irish whip.
Owen then mounted the top turnbuckle and delivered a missile dropkick.
He then attempted a vertical suplex, but Furnas countered with an inside cradle for 2.
Immediately, Owen retaliated with a clothesline.
After a fisherman’s suplex by Owen, he got 2.
Smith tagged in and gave Furnas a delayed vertical suplex.
Cassidy tagged in, gave Furnas a cross-corner whip, and followed with a corner clothesline.
After a gutbuster, Cassidy gave Furnas another cross-corner whip, but came up empty on his follow-through.
Lukewarm tag to LaFon who placed Cassidy on the top turnbuckle and gave him a reverse superplex.

1-2-3.
The match is tied 2-2.
Smith came in but ate a leg lariat from LaFon for 2.
LaFon then countered a back drop with a punt and executed a somersault rollup for another 2.
Smith then reversed an Irish whip and gave LaFon a face plant.
Owen tagged in and gave LaFon a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Sweet!
After a hangman’s neckbreaker, Owen mounted the second turnbuckle and hit the big elbow for another 2.
He followed with an enziguri but only got 2.
Smith tagged in, and the tag champs gave LaFon a double clothesline.
Smith and LaFon brawled for a bit until Smith kicked a FIELD GOAL. I believe LaFon began singing the soprano portion in La Cage Aux Folles immediately thereafter.
At any rate, Owen tagged in, gave LaFon a cross-corner whip, but ate knee on his follow-through.
After the tag champs missed a double clothesline, LaFon executed a crucifix rollup of Smith and pinned him.
The faces led 2-1.
Before Smith left the ring, he gave LaFon a chop block. Ross practically threw his Big 12 penalty flag on the play because of it.

Thanks to his partner’s interference, Owen rammed LaFon’s leg against the ring post twice.
He then gave LaFon a dragon screw leg whip. I bet Daenerys Targaryen loved that. Mmmm...

Owen then applied the Sharpshooter, but Furnas distracted Owen enough to break the hold.
Next, LaFon delivered a reverse thrust kick and tagged in Furnas.
After a shoulder block, Furnas delivered a great dropkick but only got 2.
He then gave Owen an overhead belly-to-belly suplex for another 2.
Following that, he gave Owen a cross-corner whip resulting in a sternum-first bump.
Instantly, he hooked a German suplex and pinned Owen.
1-2-3.
Survivors: Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon

Summary: Exciting finish to a really good match. Unfortunately, the MSG faithful was not loving most of it as they sat on their hands during most of the match.

In the boiler room, Kevin Kelly interviews a reluctant Bearer with Mankind who wants to “eat (Undertaker) alive.” Yuck! Can someone get him a hot dog from the concession stand please? Hold the onions!

Bearer was suspended high above the ring in a shark cage. Will he meet his imminent doom?
Clad in black leather, Undertaker made his entrance from the ceiling. That’s unique.
He then gave Mankind a pair of cross-corner whips followed by a drop toe hold.
Next, he applied a Fujiwara arm bar. If he breaks out the STF, I’m leaving.
Mankind then sought refuge outside the ring, but Undertaker joined and rammed him hand first into the steel railing in an attempt to thwart the Mandible claw.
Afterward, he rammed Mankind’s hand into the steps.
Back in the ring, Undertaker delivered a slam but missed an elbow drop.
A Cactus clothesline then took both men over the top rope to the floor.
They then brawled in the crowd until Undertaker gave Mankind a back drop back to ringside.
Mankind then leaped from the apron and hit a somersault dive onto Undertaker.
Back in the ring, Mankind gave Undertaker a cross-corner whip and delivered a face full of knee.
After another cross-corner whip by Mankind, Undertaker exploded out of the corner with a back elbow.
Mankind then countered a back drop with a piledriver.
Mandible claw attempt #1 was blocked, but attempt #2 briefly succeeded until Undertaker used momentum to send Mankind between the ropes to the floor. Nice counter!
Mankind then tried to pull Undertaker to the floor with him but got kicked head-first into the steel railing. YEE-OUCH!
Undertaker then exited the ring and rammed Mankind face-first into the steel steps.
To once again thwart the Mandible claw, Undertaker rammed Mankind’s hand twice into the steps.
He then climbed the top rope and delivered the shoulder smash.
Mankind came back with a swinging neckbreaker, mounted the top turnbuckle, but Undertaker caught him.
Upon holding Undertaker off for the moment, Mankind leaped from the top turnbuckle but received a goozle on the way down.
To counter, Mankind successfully applied the Mandible claw upon his third attempt.
On the other hand, Undertaker broke the hold and delivered a chokeslam.
With Mankind leaning against the ropes, the Undertaker charged, missed, and sailed over the top rope to the floor.
Mankind then attempted somersault dive #2 from the apron to the floor but missed.
Ross noted Undertaker’s new teardrop tattoo under his eye. Does that mean that Undertaker murdered someone? There’s got to be more to this story.
Back in the ring, Mankind reversed an Irish whip and applied a sleeper, but Undertaker immediately countered with a belly-to-back suplex.
Mankind then pulled a foreign object out and creamed Undertaker with it.
Out of nowhere, Undertaker came back with a tombstone.
1-2-3.
Undertaker won.

Summary: Not quite as good as their match from King of the Ring, but it wasn’t bad either. Is this feud over?

After the match, the cage lowers, but before Undertaker could manhandle Bearer, Executioner runs in to attack him from behind. As Bearer escapes, Undertaker ducks a clothesline and hits a lariat on Executioner. A frustrated Undertaker is miffed for being unable to destroy Bearer.

Meanwhile, Sunny comes to the ring and joins the broadcast team for the next match.

Match 3 (Survivor): “Wildman” Marc Mero, “Stalker” Barry Windham, Rocky Maivia, & ??? (w/ Sable) versus Goldust, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, & Crush (w/ Marlena)

Where’s Mr. Perfect? First, he’s “injured” before wrestling a match on RAW. Now this? The thick plottens.
In case you missed it, Mark Henry was injured, so who replaced him?
As Goldust made his entrance, Sunny gave us this gem: “I’m as innocent and pure as I look.” Now that’s comedy!

When Mero and Sable made their entrances, Sunny became quite catty towards her.
As Maivia made his entrance, Ross referred to him as a “blue-chipper.” I didn’t know he starred with Nolte in that movie.

Mero then introduced Henry’s replacement—Jake “the Snake” Roberts!
After a hip toss, Mero gave Goldust a back drop.
He then rolled up Goldust for 2.
Windham tagged in, ducked a pair of clotheslines, and hit Goldust with a lariat.
Maivia tagged in, ate a shoulder block from Lawler, and nipped up.
After a pair of leap frogs, Maivia delivered a dropkick to Lawler.
An uppercut by Maivia then sent Lawler over the top rope to the floor.
Helmsley tagged in and gave Maivia a vertical suplex.
Goldust tagged in and delivered an elbow drop for 2.
He then guillotined Maivia using the top rope.
Crush tagged in and gave Maivia a backbreaker.
After a slam by Crush, Lawler tagged in and delivered a fist drop to Maivia.
Helmsley tagged in, but Maivia came back with a cross-corner whip followed by a back drop.
Roberts tagged in and gave Helmsley a back drop.
He then gave Helmsley a short-arm clothesline and signaled for the DDT.
Helmsley immediately thwarted DDT attempt #1.
Lawler tagged in, pantomimed Roberts’ drinking issues, but ate the DDT.
1-2-3.
The faces led 4-3.
As Goldust distracted referee Jack Doan, Helmsley nailed Roberts.
Speaking of Roberts, he countered a reverse chin lock with a jawbreaker.
Windham tagged in and gave Goldust a HARD cross-corner whip.
He then gave Goldust a vertical suplex, floated over, but only got 2.
Next, he put Goldust on the top turnbuckle but got nailed.
Goldust then leaped from the second turnbuckle but ate a shot to the midsection.
While Doan checked on Goldust, Crush hammered Windham from behind.
Goldust then delivered the Curtain Call eliminating Windham.
The match was tied 3-3.
Mero came in and gave Goldust a knee lift.
Goldust came back with a clothesline and tagged in Helmsley.
While Helmsley distracted Doan, Goldust gave Mero a guillotine using the top rope. Does Doan have Marella’s disease (bright shiny object)?
Regardless, Helmsley delivered a knee drop for 2.
He followed that with a backbreaker as Sunny’s cattiness toward Sable continued.
Meanwhile, Crush gave Mero a bear hug followed by a pair of backbreakers for 2.
Goldust tagged in and gave Mero a lariat for 2.
Crush tagged in and gave Mero a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for another 2.
Helmsley tagged in and applied a Goldust-assisted abdominal stretch to Mero.
As Mero escaped with a hip toss, he gave Helmsley a sunset flip, but Goldust made the save.
Helmsley attempted another backbreaker, but Mero countered with a flying headscissors.
Mero then gave Helmsley a back drop, but Helmsley tossed him over the top rope to the floor.
While Roberts temporarily distracted Helmsley, Mero mounted the top turnbuckle, hit the Merosault, and pinned Helmsley.
The faces led 3-2.
Crush came in but ate a dropkick from Mero sending him between the ropes to the floor.
Mero then attempted a plancha but hit nothing but the floor mats.
Back in the ring, Crush hit the heart punch and pinned Mero.
The match was tied 2-2.
Roberts came in, missed a short-arm clothesline, but ate a heart punch.
1-2-3.
The heels led 2-1.
Maivia, in his debut, is stuck in a handicap match. Can he survive?
The always helpful MSG faithful supported him with a “Rocky” chant.
Crush then tried a vertical suplex, but Maivia countered with an inside cradle for 2.
After a slam of Crush, Maivia nailed an incoming Goldust.
Goldust and Crush then missed a double clothesline, and Maivia hit a cross body block knocking down both wrestlers.
Upon spilling Goldust over the top rope to the floor, Maivia took a shot down near Battery Park.
As Goldust held Maivia, Crush tried to nail him but hit Goldust instead.
Maivia then hit a cross body block and pinned Crush.
The match was tied 1-1.
Maivia then gave Goldust a shoulder breaker and pinned him.
Survivor: Rocky Maivia.

Summary: Welcome to the WWF, Rocky. He’s going to need more than a couple of good moves to go with that physique to get over with the WWF fans.

Promo for the next match airs. Bret’s portion is highlighted by Bret’s admission that Austin is the “best wrestler in the WWF.” I’m sure Michaels heard and didn’t like that one. Austin’s portion was filled with his perfect delivery.

Backstage, Pettengill interviews Austin. According to Pettengill, the winner of this match gets a WWF title shot. Austin then informs Bret: “Clichés are clichés, and an ass-whippin’ is an ass-whippin’.” Totally awesome!

After Austin makes his entrance, Pettengill interviews Bret who’s seeking respect from Austin.

During Austin’s entrance, Ross mentioned seeing him wrestle in the Sportatorium in Dallas but failed to mention the USWA.

During Bret’s entrance, the MSG faithful cheered him much louder Austin.
Ross clarified that the winner of this match faces the WWF champion for the title at the next WWF PPV on 12/15.
As Austin and Bret jawed with one another, Austin gave Bret his famous salute. Kids...

After a back elbow by Austin, he delivered a pair of elbow smashes.
He then gave Bret a short-arm clothesline.
Upon missing a clothesline, Austin gave Bret the stungun.
Next, he guillotined Bret using the bottom rope.
With Bret prone on the apron, Austin delivered another elbow smash landing Bret on the floor.
Afterward, he guillotined Bret using the top rope.
He then gave Bret a couple of knee drops and got 2.
Upon winning a slugfest, Austin stomped Bret down in the corner.
Bret came back by reversing a cross-corner whip and delivering a clothesline.
He then followed with an inverted atomic drop and hit another clothesline.
After delivering a shot to the midsection, Bret rolled Austin up for 2.
He then gave Austin a side Russian leg sweep for another 2.
Following that, he attempted a bulldog, but Austin shoved him causing a sternum-first bump in the opposite corner.
Austin then attempted a vertical suplex and placed Bret atop the top turnbuckle.
Afterward, Bret countered a superplex with a front suplex down to the mat.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a diving elbow smash for 2.
Austin then countered a backbreaker with an eye rake.
He then tossed Bret outside the ring, leaped from the apron, and delivered a double axe handle to Bret’s back.
Upon breaking the count, Austin rammed Bret back-first into the ring post. OUCH!
Bret came back by nailing Austin while breaking the steel railing in the process.
He then made Austin taste the steel railing. It must have tasted like the Death by Lobster at the Perfect Pint.
As Bret rolled Austin back into the ring, Austin rolled back out. Bret then leaped from the apron and nailed him with an elbow smash.
Austin came back with a catapult sending Bret atop the Spanish announce table.

He then slammed Bret on the Spanish announce table, mounted the apron, and delivered an elbow smash.
With Bret on the apron, Austin gave him a vertical suplex to bring him into the ring.
He then mounted the second turnbuckle and gave Bret another elbow smash for 2.
Another elbow smash got another 2.
As the MSG faithful chanted “let’s go Hitman,” Austin gave Bret a HARD cross-corner whip.
He then delivered a running guillotine for yet another 2.
Upon hooking a rope-assisted abdominal stretch, referee Tim White caught him. Austin’s response was his famous salute again.
Bret then won a brawl, reversed an Irish whip, and gave Austin a stungun.
He then attempted an Oklahoma roll and got 2. That didn’t look crisp.
Regardless, Bret followed with a piledriver for another 2.
After a backbreaker, Bret mounted the top turnbuckle again but got caught.
Austin then joined him and delivered a top rope superplex. Wow!
On the other hand, Bret hooked a cradle and got 2.
Out of nowhere, Austin delivered the Stone Cold Stunner.
Could he beat the Hitman?
1-2-NO!
Frustrated, Austin then tried a series of covers but could only get 2.
He then hooked a Texas Cloverleaf, but Bret made the ropes.
In an odd twist, Austin gave Bret a cross-corner whip, but when Bret tried to apply the brakes, he rammed his back into the ring post.
From that, Austin got another 2.
He then applied a bow-and-arrow, but Bret escaped. You don’t see that one every day from him.
Bret then attempted the Sharpshooter, but Austin made the ropes.
As Bret hooked a sleeper, Austin rammed him back into the corner.
Unable to break the hold, Austin then implemented a jawbreaker.
Stalking his prey, Austin then applied the Million Dollar Dream.
Like WrestleMania VIII against Piper, Bret walked up the turnbuckles, jumped backwards, hooked Austin who maintained the hold, and pinned him.

Summary: Absolutely incredible! Austin hung with Bret move-for-move but came up short. He’s not just a foul-mouthed redneck because he’s got the whole package, folks.

After the match, Bret takes a victory lap that includes shaking McMahon’s hand.

Newly-inducted WWF Hall of Famer Lou Albano comes to the ring, fakes out McMahon on a handshake, and joins the Spanish announce table. Needless to say, but I’ve yet to read his book.

Match 5 (Survivor): Vader, Faarooq, Diesel, & Razor Ramon (w/ Clarence Mason, & PG-13) versus Savio Vega, Yokozuna, Flash Funk, & ??? (w/ the Funkettes)

PG-13 rapped Faarooq to the ring with the Nation of Domination theme playing. No more gladiator look for Simmons. Woohoo!
Jim Cornette joined the broadcast team for this match.
And the mystery partner for the babyfaces—newly inducted WWF Hall of Famer Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka! Rumors of Savage wrestling here have been greatly exaggerated.
Vader won a lockup with the debuting Funk, but the latter nipped up and funked up.
Vader then dominated Funk in the corner and delivered a short-arm clothesline.
After ducking a pair of clotheslines, Funk delivered a spinning heel kick to Vader who went down early on the move. I blame the camera angle more than Vader here for that snafu.
Funk then hit a cross body block that sent both wrestlers over the top rope to the floor.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a moonsault to Vader on the floor. Wow!
Next, he tried to whip Vader into the apron, but Vader re-entered the ring instead.
He then gave Funk a running body block followed by a powerbomb.
Without tagging in, Yokozuna came in and gave Vader a uranage injuring Vader’s shoulder.
Faarooq tagged in, gave Vega a cross-corner whip, but ate boot on his follow-through.
After giving Faarooq a mule kick, Vega unleashed a spinning heel kick that was right on the money.
Ramon tagged in, but Vega gave him a pair of hip tosses followed by a dropkick.
He then gave Ramon a cross-corner whip, avoided a boot on his follow-through, and delivered the ten-punch count-along.
Ramon then reversed an Irish whip and delivered a fallaway slam.
Diesel tagged in and clotheslined Funk.
Funk then countered a military press slam with a sunset flip, but Diesel converted it into a standing choke.
Faarooq tagged in, but Funk delivered a reverse enziguri and a dropkick to him.
On another note, Faarooq caught him with a spinebuster.
Vader tagged in and hit another running body block to Funk.
Afterward, Snuka tagged in, gave Diesel a cross-corner whip, but ate knee on his follow-through.
Vader tagged in but ate a flying head butt from Snuka.
After a dropkick, Snuka slammed Vader!
Diesel tagged in but received a spinning heel kick from Vega.
As Vega came off the ropes, Vader gave him a low bridge sending him down to the floor.
Faarooq then rammed Vega back-first into the ring post twice.
Back in the ring, Diesel gave Vega the jackknife powerbomb.
1-2-3.
The heels led 4-3.
Snuka came in, slammed Ramon, and hit a knee drop.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle, hit the flying splash, and pinned Ramon.
The match was tied 3-3.
Diesel then brought in a chair and WALLOPED Snuka with it.
Vega returned with a chair and nailed Diesel.
Referees Doan and Chioda threw the match out.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Eh. The show’s running long.

Summary: Despite Snuka and Funk’s involvement, this was a colossal waste of time.

Match 6 for the WWF title: The “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels (w/ Jose Lothario) versus Sycho Sid

Since both wrestlers are babyfaces, I wonder who the MSG faithful will support.
After nailing Sid a couple of times, Michaels gave him a cross body block for 2.
Sid then won a battle of fisticuffs and gave Michaels a gorilla press; however, Michaels escaped before being slammed.
Sid then set up for a powerbomb, but Michaels wisely sought refuge outside the ring.
After Sid whipped Michaels into the corner, he ate boot on his follow-through.
Michaels then clipped him to a smattering of boos from the MSG faithful. Aha!
As the boos rained down on Michaels, he applied a figure-four leg lock.
Will Sid submit?
No, he reversed the hold. I wasn’t aware that Sid knew that counter.
Nevertheless, Michaels attempted a second figure-four leg lock, but Sid countered by kicking him shoulder-first into the ring post.
After Sid bumped into the cameraman on the apron, he booted Michaels in the head.
Upon booting Michaels in the corner a couple of times, he came up empty on his third attempt.
He then reversed an Irish whip but ate a dropkick to the leg instead.
A tenacious Michaels continued to work on Sid’s leg, got kicked off twice, and then skinned the cat back into the ring.
An unimpressed Sid then clotheslined him over the top rope to the floor. I thought I heard him call Michaels a “prima donna.”
On the floor, Sid joined him, whipped him back-first into the apron, military pressed him, and then guillotined him using the steel railing. OUCH!
Sid then tossed him in the ring and got 2.
After a back drop, Sid gave Michaels a cross-corner whip resulting in a Michaels flip.
With Michaels on the apron, Sid grabbed him, but Michaels countered by guillotining him using the top rope.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle, tried a cross body block, got caught, and received a backbreaker for 2.
Sid then gave Michaels a HARD cross-corner whip twice, but Michaels came back with a slam to a chorus of boos.
He then mounted the second turnbuckle but ate boot on the way down.

Sid then reverted back to his days in the Million Dollar Corporation by applying the Million Dollar Dream, but Michaels escaped.
Next, he attempted the chokeslam, but Michaels raked his eyes.
Michaels then attempted Sweet Chin Music, but Sid caught the boot, spun Michaels around, and delivered the chokeslam.
After wasting an inordinate amount of time, Sid set up for the powerbomb, but Michaels countered with an inside cradle for 2.
Sid came back with a powerslam for 2.
Michaels then came back with a flying forearm.
Upon nipping up, Michaels got clotheslined out of his boots.
Do we have a new champion?
1-2-NO!
Surprisingly, Sid then grabbed the camera from the cameraman he bumped into earlier.
When Lothario got up on the apron, Sid nailed him with the camera.
Michaels then hit Sweet Chin Music but saw Lothario down on the floor.
After Michaels yelled to the back for medical assistance for Lothario, Sid tossed Michaels back into the ring.
He then gave Michaels a cross-corner whip, but Michaels leaped to the second turnbuckle.
Michaels delivered another cross body block but hit referee Earl Hebner instead of Sid.
He then checked on Lothario as Sid WALLOPED him in the back with the camera.
Since Hebner was OUT COLD, he couldn’t disqualify Sid.
Upon tossing Michaels back into the ring, Sid delivered a powerbomb.
1-2-3.
WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!
The crowd, minus a heartbroken girl in the front row, went CRAZY!

Summary: In spite of getting jeered, Michaels carried Sid to an extremely good match here.

After the match, paramedics rush to ringside to provide aid to Lothario as Michaels tries to communicate with his mentor. In the meantime, Sid stands tall in the ring as the WWF Champion. According to Vince and Ross, Sid will defend the WWF title against Bret at the next PPV.

Conclusion: With the awesome Bret-Austin match sandwiched between a really good opener and an extremely good main event, this show is an absolute MUST-SEE for wrestling fans.