WWF Royal Rumble 1997

Wow! Look at that crowd! Do I smell a discount? A $480,013 gate would certainly say so. Read on!

Match 1 for the WWF Intercontinental title: Hunter Hearst Helmsley (champion w/ Mr. Hughes) versus Goldust (w/ Marlena)

Before the match began, Goldust brawled with Helmsley in the aisle.
After he tossed Helmsley outside the ring, Goldust guillotined him using the steel railing.
Back in the ring, Goldust gave Helmsley the ten-punch count-along, but Helmsley countered with an inverted atomic drop.
Helmsley then attempted the Pedigree, but Goldust countered with a catapult that sent him over the top rope to the floor.
He then joined and tossed the steps onto Helmsley’s back. OUCH!
As Helmsley returned to the apron, he guillotined Goldust using the top rope.
When he re-entered the ring, Helmsley gave Goldust a cross-corner whip but ate boot on his follow-through.
Goldust then hit a lariat for 2.
After Helmsley nailed Goldust down near Brownsville, TX, Goldust fell out of the ring.
Helmsley then mounted the top turnbuckle and gave Goldust a double axe handle.
Following that, he made Goldust HIT THE POLE!
When Helmsley leaned Goldust against the steel railing, he charged but missed. In the process, he hurt his left knee.
Goldust then dropped the steps on Helmsley’s knee. Goldust brought a can with him tonight.

After Goldust tossed Helmsley back into the ring, he delivered a knee drop to Helmsley’s knee.
He then hooked a rope-assisted figure-four leg lock until referee Earl Hebner caught him.
When Helmsley sought refuge outside the ring, Goldust joined and gave him a chop block.
He then rammed Helmsley face-first into the apron.
Outside the ring, Goldust gave Helmsley a knee crusher on the steps.
Back in the ring, Goldust attempted a cross body block but missed. He then rolled completely out of the ring into the aisle.
Helmsley then joined and whipped Goldust back-first into the steel railing.
Next, he rammed Goldust face-first into the remainder of the steps.
Afterward, Helmsley grabbed Marlena’s director chair, but Hebner took it from him.
Helmsley then made Goldust taste the steel railing. It must have tasted like the “Pho”-Kin’ soup at Mash’D.

In the meantime, Todd Pettengill interviewed country singer Collin Raye. Why?

Back in the ring, Helmsley gave Goldust a knee drop for 2.
Goldust came back with a second lariat and rallied the San Antonio faithful.
He then gave Helmsley a back drop, mounted the top turnbuckle, but got crotched.
Helmsley then joined and attempted a superplex, but Goldust head-butted him down to the mat.
Goldust then remounted the top turnbuckle but missed the big elbow.
Suddenly, Hughes tossed the IC belt to Helmsley and got up on the apron to distract Hebner.
In response, Marlena got up on the opposite apron to distract Helmsley.
Since he was still single, Helmsley grabbed and kissed her.
When Helmsley attempted to annihilate Goldust with the belt, Goldust ducked, grabbed the belt, and knocked Helmsley into the middle of 1999.
Do we have a new champion?
1-2-NO!
Hughes pulled Helmsley’s leg under the bottom rope. SNEAKY!
After Hughes distracted Goldust, Helmsley hit a clothesline.
He then gave Goldust the Pedigree.
1-2-3.
Helmsley retained.

Summary: Only the big bumps got the San Antonio faithful excited. I think if Goldust had worn a Stetson, he would have gotten a bigger response.

In the locker room, Bret cut a pre-recorded promo stating he’ll win the Royal Rumble match.

Meanwhile in the boiler room, Mankind cut his own pre-recorded promo stating he’ll “hurt a lot of people (he doesn’t) like.”

As he made his entrance, Johnson charged the ring to attack Faarooq.
He then gave Faarooq a cross-corner whip, shoved him back into the corner, and played 1-potato, 2-potato on his head.

When Faarooq sought refuge outside the ring, Johnson joined and made him HIT THE POLE!
As the San Antonio faithful chanted “Ah-med,” Johnson hit a flying clothesline.
He then grabbed a belt and whipped Faarooq 1000 shades of grey.
Outside the ring, Johnson rammed Faarooq into one set of steps and then the other.
Faarooq then used D-Lo Brown as a weapon by pushing him into Johnson.
He then gave Johnson a clothesline, grabbed a chair, and slammed him on it. OUCH!
Next, he hammered Johnson in the back with the chair.
Back in the ring, Faarooq placed Johnson atop the top turnbuckle and kicked him like fellow Florida State Seminole Sebastian Janikowski.

Afterward, Faarooq continued to nail Johnson in his kidneys.
He then got too cocky as he badmouthed the San Antonio faithful.
When Johnson recovered, he crawled under Faarooq, stood up, and gave him an electric chair.
Faarooq then mounted the top turnbuckle, leaped, but received a powerslam.
After Johnson gave him an Irish whip, Faarooq delivered a spinebuster.
Again, Faarooq jaw-jacked with the San Antonio faithful until Johnson gave him his own spinebuster.
Crush then entered the ring, but Johnson disposed of him.
As more members of the Nation of Domination entered the ring, referee Mike Chioda called for the bell disqualifying Faarooq.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Summary: The San Antonio faithful wanted Johnson to kick Faarooq’s ass, but it wasn’t in the cards.

After the match, Johnson catches, military-presses, and tosses Wolfie D over the top rope onto other members of the Nation. He then chases after Faarooq, but Kareem Olajuwon (a.k.a. Reggie B. Fine) nails Johnson from behind. Upon chasing him back to the ring, he rams Olajuwon face-first into the steps. Next, he gives Olajuwon the Pearl River Plunge through the French broadcast table.

Backstage, Pettengill interviews the Nation of Domination. After Faarooq puts a couple members in line, he calls Johnson an “Uncle Tom.” This feud ain’t over.

After Undertaker intimidated referee Jack Doan, he charged and ate a back elbow.
Vader then delivered a clothesline, but Undertaker sat up.
When Vader delivered a running body block, Undertaker sat up again.
A perplexed Vader sought refuge outside the ring, but Undertaker leaped from the apron and gave him a double axe handle.
With Undertaker in the ring, Vader gave him an Ace Crusher. Sshh…don’t tell Austin.
Better yet, let him know during the Rumble match.
To counter a back drop, Undertaker delivered a Rocker dropper.
Somewhere, Marty Jannetty was crying.

After a slam, Undertaker delivered a leg drop for 2.
He then attempted the rope walk shoulder smash, but Vader crotched him on the top rope.
After a low blow by Vader, Pettengill interviewed Summer Bishop who allegedly grew up to be a stalker of Shawn Michaels or so she hoped.

Upon giving Undertaker a cross-corner whip, Vader delivered an avalanche.
After a clothesline, he mounted the second turnbuckle and hit a flying body block for 2.
When Undertaker came back, he gave Vader a belly-to-back suplex but missed an elbow drop.
Next, Vader delivered his own elbow drop down I-37 to Corpus Christi.
Again, Vader mounted the second turnbuckle, leaped, but ate a powerslam by Undertaker.
Vader then countered a back drop into a powerbomb for 2.
As Undertaker came back, he delivered a flying clothesline followed by the rope walk shoulder smash.
Suddenly, Paul Bearer came to ringside as Undertaker delivered a chokeslam.
When Vader got to his feet, Undertaker clotheslined him over the top rope to the floor.
He then exited the ring and popped Paul Bearer.
Upon tossing Bearer into the ring, Undertaker nailed him and clotheslined Vader over the top rope to the floor again.
This time, he joined and rammed Vader face-first into the apron.
With Vader draped over the steel railing, Undertaker charged but ate it himself. It must have tasted like the Cricket Club sandwich at Mad Dog’s British Pub.
As Vader distracted Doan, Bearer leaped from the apron and nailed Undertaker with the urn. How dastardly!
When Undertaker rolled back into the ring, Vader delivered the Vader bomb.
1-2-3.
Vader won.

Summary: OK…who took Vader over Undertaker in the office pool? That’s a dark horse pick if there ever was one.

After the match, Vader leaves the ring with Bearer. When Undertaker resumes consciousness, he chokeslams Doan. What a bully! He then destroys furniture and yells at McMahon.

In a pre-recorded promo, Austin chastises any- and everyone. Outside the Alamodome, Smith shares his rather infamous feelings.

Partido 4: Perro Aguayo, Canek, y Hector Garza contra Jerry Estrada, Fuerza Guerrera, y Heavy Metal

It’s lucha libre, WWF-style! Popcorn, anyone?

After Heavy Metal delivered a hip toss to Garza, he received a belly-to-back suplex.
Aguayo tagged in as Ross mentioned his twenty-seven years in wrestling. Way to get those up-and-comers, McMahon!
Estrada then delivered a clothesline to Aguayo but received a back drop over the top rope to the floor. Great hangtime!

Upon receiving a hip toss from Canek, Guerrera reversed a cross-corner whip and delivered a corner clothesline.
When Guerrera gave Canek a cross-corner whip, Canek leaped to the second turnbuckle and hit a cross body block.
Guerrera came back with a slam, mounted the top turnbuckle, but missed a senton splash.
As Canek mounted the top turnbuckle, he hit a cross body block to Guerrera.
Interestingly, Ross noted Canek’s career spanned over two decades. Did he ever work for Vince McMahon, Sr.?

After Garza performed a back flip, Heavy Metal delivered a spinning heel kick. Do you hear that ringing?

When Garza reversed an Irish whip, Heavy Metal came off the ropes and gave him a back elbow.
Garza then delivered a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and tagged out.
Shortly after, Canek and Estrada exchanged monkey flips, and Canek followed with a dropkick.
After Canek whipped Estrada into the corner, he came up empty on his follow-through.
Speaking of empty, the San Antonio faithful held zero interest in this match.
Estrada then rolled him up for 2.
As Guerrera tagged in, he dropkicked Aguayo. Where’s the Ben-Gay?

With Aguayo leaning against the ropes, Guerrera charged but missed. He then flew between the ropes to the floor.

Heavy Metal tagged in, gave Canek a pair of shoulder blocks, but received a clothesline upon attempting another.
As Garza tagged in, he gave Heavy Metal a springboard leg drop to the knee.
He then applied an STF, but Estrada made the save.
Aguayo tagged in and gave Heavy Metal a Samoan drop.
After a senton, Aguayo didn’t receive a count from referee Pepe Casas because Estrada made another save.
While Heavy Metal held Canek, Guerrera mistakenly dropkicked Heavy Metal.
Canek then gave Guerrera a military-press slam, and Aguayo dropkicked him out of the ring.
After Canek military-pressed Estrada, Garza sent Estrada outside the ring.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle and gave Estrada a corkscrew plancha. Woohoo!
Back in the ring, Canek gave Heavy Metal a slam.
When Aguayo tagged in, he mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a double stomp on Heavy Metal.
1-2-3.

Summary: This was the WWF’s feeble attempt to include lucha libre in their programming. While successful for WCW, they had better competitors than those involved here.

After the match, Vince shills In Your House XIII live on PPV from Chattanooga, TN on 2/16.

Ring announcer Howard Finkel then announces the attendance at 60,477 which is the second largest attendance in pro wrestling history.

Stone Cold Steve Austin, Cybernetico, Crush, Diesel, Faarooq, Flash Funk, Terry Funk, Bart Gunn, Henry Godwinn, Phineas Godwinn, Goldust, Bret “Hitman” Hart, WWF tag team champion the “Rocket” Owen Hart, WWF Intercontinental champion Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Jesse James, Ahmed Johnson, Latin Lover, Rocky Maivia, Mankind, Mil Mascaras, Marc Mero, Pierroth, Razor Ramon, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, WWF tag team champion the “British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith, The Sultan, Vader, Savio Vega, Undertaker, & one surprise entrant

Crush and Johnson began the match as numbers one and two respectively.
Ramon was #3 to a chorus of boos and lasted less than a minute thanks to Johnson. Say goodbye to the bad guy.
When Johnson saw Faarooq in the aisle, he leaped over the top rope eliminating himself.

Phineas was #4, and had either lost weight or wore overalls one size too large.
Austin was #5 to ZERO pop.
Wasting no time, Phineas gave Austin a cross-corner whip followed by a clothesline.
Now we know who wouldn’t take bumps. Thanks, Crush.
As Crush held Phineas, Austin mounted the second turnbuckle but nailed Crush instead.
That allowed Phineas to eliminate Crush.
Afterward, Austin gave Phineas the Stone Cold Stunner and eliminated him.
Bart was #6 and botched a Rocker dropper immediately.
After a pair of elbow drops, Bart came off the ropes, but Austin used momentum to cause Bart to clothesline himself on the top rope.
Austin then clotheslined Bart over the top rope to eliminate him.
Between entrants, Austin performed some push-ups, sat on the top turnbuckle, and checked his “watch.”

As the clock finally began working, Roberts was #7.
Roberts delivered a short-arm clothesline to Austin as Smith was #8.
While Smith made his entrance, Austin eliminated Roberts.
After Smith gave Austin a running powerslam, Pierroth was #9.
Smith then reversed an Irish whip and gave Pierroth a spinebuster.
After Pierroth gave Smith a clothesline, Austin mounted the second turnbuckle and nailed Pierroth with a double axe handle.
As the Sultan entered at #10, he unsuccessfully eliminated Pierroth.
When Sultan slammed Pierroth, Mascaras entered at #11.
He then gave Sultan an Irish whip followed by a flying forearm.
As Helmsley made his entrance at #12, Smith eliminated Sultan.
After Mascaras gave Helmsley an atomic drop, Austin clotheslined Helmsley.
Upon unsuccessfully eliminating Helmsley, Austin mounted the second turnbuckle a third time and gave Helmsley an elbow smash.
Owen entered at #13 as Mascaras gave Pierroth a flying forearm.
After Helmsley gave Smith an inverted atomic drop, Smith kept Owen from being eliminated.
As Smith tried to eliminate Austin, Owen eliminated his tag team partner. Huh?
When Owen tried to explain himself, Smith called him an “idiot.”
Goldust was #14, but Austin ambushed him.
After Austin slammed Goldust, he gave him a knee drop.
Cibernetico was #15 as Goldust delivered a lariat to Helmsley.
When Austin gave Owen a running guillotine, Mero entered at #16.
Pierroth then eliminated Cibernetico.
Afterward, Mascaras eliminated Pierroth.
Mascaras then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a cross body block on Pierroth. Like Johnson, he eliminated himself.

After Goldust eliminated Helmsley via clothesline, Owen gave Austin an enziguri.
Latin Lover was #17 and gave Goldust a superkick to his “keister” according to Vince.
Upon giving Owen a superkick to the face, Latin Lover slammed him.
Goldust then tried to eliminate Owen, but the latter skinned the cat back into the ring.
After Latin Lover missed a dropkick, Owen eliminated Goldust.
He then suplexed Latin Lover onto the top rope but couldn’t eliminate him.
As Faarooq entered at #18, Latin Lover charged at him but got backdropped over the top rope to the floor.
Immediately, Austin delivered a clothesline to Faarooq.
Suddenly, Johnson returned with a 2x4 and nailed Faarooq who eliminated himself to escape.
Austin then eliminated Owen and Mero as he stood in the ring alone again.
When Vega entered at #19, he gave Austin a catapult sending him face-first to the top turnbuckle.
Upon delivering a spinning heel kick, he received a stungun from Austin.
Austin then clotheslined Vega over the top rope to eliminate him.
With James entering at #20, he gave Austin a cross-corner whip and followed with a corner clothesline.
Austin rejected that, kicked him in the gut, and eliminated James.
Thus far, Austin had eliminated eight wrestlers.
When Austin sat atop the top turnbuckle again, Bret’s music hit causing a famous shocked look on Austin’s face.

Bret entered at #21 to a big ovation.
As he entered the ring, Bret brawled with Austin and delivered an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline.
Bret then reversed a cross-corner whip and clotheslined Austin again.
While Bret secured the Sharpshooter on Austin, our surprise entrant Lawler entered at #22.
Instantly, Bret nailed Lawler sending him over the top rope to the floor to complete his commentary. While not a great surprise, it was a cute bit for the PPV crowd.
Bret then gave Austin a side Russian leg sweep, mounted the top turnbuckle, and delivered an elbow smash.
After a backbreaker by Bret, Diesel entered at #23.
As Austin whipped Bret into the corner causing a sternum-first bump, Terry Funk was #24.
When Terry Funk gave Bret a piledriver, Maivia came in at #25.
Mankind entered at #26 and almost eliminated Terry Funk.
While Austin gave Bret a vertical suplex, Bret reversed an Irish whip and applied a sleeper.
After Austin countered with a jawbreaker, Flash Funk was #27.
Meanwhile, Bret gave Austin a piledriver and delivered a leg drop.
Flash Funk then mounted the top turnbuckle and gave Diesel and Terry Funk a double clothesline.
As Vader entered at #28, he reversed an Irish whip and gave Austin a running body block.
At #29, Henry came in and clotheslined Vader.
Undertaker entered at #30 and brawled with Vader.
He then gave chokeslams to Austin and Vader.
Flash Funk then attempted a cross body block, but Vader caught and dumped him over the top rope.
After Bret mounted the second turnbuckle, he nailed Austin.
Undertaker then eliminated Henry.
When Mankind whipped him into the corner, Maivia jumped to the second turnbuckle, leaped, but ate a Mandible claw.
That allowed Mankind to eliminate him.
Vader then gave Diesel a running body block.
As Mankind delivered the Cactus clothesline to Terry Funk, neither wrestler hit the floor. E-C-W! E-C-W!
On the apron, Mankind delivered a vertical suplex eliminating Terry Funk.
The field was down to six.
Immediately, Undertaker eliminated Mankind narrowing the field to five.
As Terry Funk and Mankind continued to brawl at ringside, they tied up the referees’ attention.
Bret then eliminated Austin to a big ovation.
Since the referees were busy with Mankind and Terry Funk, they didn’t see Austin’s elimination.
As Austin returned, he eliminated both Undertaker and Vader.
After Bret eliminated Diesel, Austin tossed Bret out.

Austin won the Royal Rumble!

Summary: While a bit slow at times, the match was exciting, and the winner wasn’t evident until the final man stood tall. Great job by Austin as he eliminated ELEVEN wrestlers. The controversy at the end sold the story for this match very well.

After the match, Bret returns to the ring to complain about Austin’s elimination and manhandles both Doan and Korderas. When they escape Bret’s clutches, Bret berates Vince while grabbing his jacket. BRET WAS SCREWED!

Earlier today on Superstars, a flu-ridden Michaels makes no excuses in his quest for the WWF title.

Match 12 for the WWF title: Sycho Sid (champion) versus the “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels (w/ Jose Lothario)

Can the rematch be better than the original?
As hometown hero Michaels made his entrance, he kissed his mother. Aw.
Rightfully, the champion entered last albeit to a chorus of boos.
Before entering the ring, Sid yelled “I smell a powerbomb.”
After Michaels gave Sid a cross body block, he bounced Sid’s head off the mat several times. Was he trying out for the San Antonio Spurs?

He then literally kicked Sid out of the ring.
Next, he joined and made Sid taste the steel railing. It must have tasted like the Border Attack at 54th Street.
Sid then reversed an Irish whip sending Michaels back-first into the apron.
Following that, he pressed Michaels overhead, but Michaels raked the eyes to escape.
Back in the ring, Michaels mounted the top turnbuckle, leaped, but received a powerslam for 2.
According to Ross, this will be Lothario’s last time managing Michaels. Uh oh, there goes Michaels’ babysitter.

Shortly after, Sid reversed a cross-corner whip but ate boot on his follow-through.
He then reversed another cross-corner whip which resulted in a Michaels flip to the floor.
Afterward, Sid joined and rammed him back-first into the ring post twice.
Back in the ring, Sid got 2.
Sid then almost decapitated Michaels with a clothesline. Methinks he was trying to get ahead.
Ahem…
Regardless, that got another 2.
After a pair of cross-corner whips, Sid applied a bear hug, but Michaels rang his bell to escape.
As the Hickenbottoms sat in the front row admiring their son, Sid applied another bear hug, but Michaels escaped and delivered an inverted atomic drop.
He then mounted the second turnbuckle and nailed Sid.
Upon leaping from the opposite second turnbuckle, Michaels leaped but Sid caught and bear-hugged him again.
When Sid took Michaels down to the mat, he got 2.
After a leg drop, Sid got another 2.
Upon escaping a slam, Michaels slammed Sid and delivered a flying forearm.
He then nipped up, mounted the top turnbuckle, and hit the big elbow.
As Michaels prepared for his finisher, Sid caught the foot and backdropped Michaels over the top rope to the floor. Hey! The Rumble was the previous match. Get it together, guys!
Sid then followed and powerbombed Michaels on the floor.
GET OUT THE SPATULA!
When Sid grabbed Jose Lothario by the throat, Pete Lothario, sitting at ringside, jumped the rail only to be grabbed by Sid as well.
As Pat Patterson tried to stop him, Sid released them and tossed Michaels back into the ring.
Sid then reversed a cross-corner whip sending Michaels directly into referee Earl Hebner.
He then gave Michaels a chokeslam for a false pin.
With Hebner OUT COLD, Mike Chioda slid in and counted 2 for Sid.
After he nailed Michaels, Sid nailed Chioda.
As Lothario got up on the apron to distract Sid, Michaels grabbed a TV camera and WALLOPED Sid twice with it.
When Michaels made the cover, Hebner crawled over but only counted 2.
Michaels then hit Sweet Chin Music.
Do we have a new champion?
1-2-3!
WE DO!
Michaels recaptured the WWF title.

Summary: Decent big man-little man match carried by Michaels. Unfortunately, the end was anticlimactic as it was the expected result.

After the match, Michaels celebrates his victory in the ring with Lothario. He then exits the ring to receive hugs from his parents. As a fan holds up a sign informing Michaels to keep his pants on, he receives hugs from friends seated behind the broadcast table. Amusingly, he even hugs Vince before wiggling his butt at him.

Conclusion: Despite the large crowd, this was a two-match show that saved it from being awful. With Austin’s controversial Rumble victory and Michaels’ title win, this show holds tremendous historical value, but the matches preceding them stunk up the Alamodome worse than a sick bull.