Monday Night War week 58

Hosted by Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Eric Bischoff, Bobby �The Brain� Heenan, and �Iron� Mike Tenay

For those interested, Zbyszko wore a Superman t-shirt under his required blazer.

To begin the program, Tony and Zbyszko discuss the stills between Piper and Hogan from last night completely ignoring the World title match minus the outcome.

Match 1 for the WCW World TV title: Lord Steven Regal (champion) versus Juventud Guerrera

As the match began, Sting, looking like Brandon Lee in The Crow, was seen brooding in the rafters.
Meanwhile, the nWo minions carried signs opposite the hard camera.
Also in the crowd, Syxx had a microphone and welcomed us to �nWo Nitro.� Not in �96, Sean. Have another Michelob.
Within the match itself no less, Guerrera countered a gutwrench suplex with a huracanrana.
He then gave Regal a cross-corner whip followed by a dropkick.
After a pair of slams, Guerrera mounted the top turnbuckle but missed the 450° splash.
As Sting looked on, Regal applied the Regal stretch and got the submission.

Ad for the WCW Monday Nitro t-shirt (w/ subtitles) for only $19.95 brought to you by Faces of Fear. Has to be seen to be believed.

After a commercial break, we revisit stills from the Arn-Luger match from Halloween Havoc. According to Tony, Arn didn�t suffer a major injury and should return shortly. Whew! Unfortunately, Eddie Guerrero suffered some broken ribs in his match against DDP last night.

Upon feeling one another out, An Enos clothesline sent both men over the top rope to the floor simultaneously.
In retaliation, DDP whipped Enos back-first into the steel railing.
Back in the ring, despite a reversal of an Irish whip by Enos, DDP hit a sit-out powerbomb for 2.
DDP then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit a flying clothesline.
Meanwhile, the NEW World tag team champion Outsiders looked on from the crowd and rooted for DDP.
To block a Diamond Cutter, Enos shoved DDP into the corner then delivered an overhead belly-to-belly suplex for 2.
He then gave DDP a hangman�s neckbreaker followed by a leg drop.
Upon guillotining DDP using the top rope, Enos gave him a short-arm clothesline.
Next, he delivered a powerslam for 2.
Enos then attempted a running powerslam, but DDP hooked his feet on the top turnbuckle.
Upon regaining his balance, DDP delivered the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Summary: Good offense from Enos, but it wasn�t good enough. Will DDP become the next member of the nWo?

After a commercial break, we revisit stills from the Cruiserweight title match from last night.

Prior to the next match, A.C. Green of the Phoenix Suns was shown in attendance wearing an nWo shirt.

Match 3 (non-title): WCW Cruiserweight Champion Dean Malenko versus Jim Powers (w/ Teddy Long)

Did someone order �Juice?�
After a leap frog by Malenko, Powers gave him a hip toss.
He then slammed Malenko as Psicosis came out to watch the match from the entrance.
According to Tony, in case you miss the encore presentation of Halloween Havoc tomorrow night, it will also be shown on Halloween. How appropriate!
After delivering a knee to the midsection, Malenko gave Powers a cross-corner whip but came up empty on his follow-through.
Upon ducking a haymaker, Powers gave Malenko an atomic drop followed by the ten-top-turnbuckle count-along.
He then clotheslined Malenko and got 2.
Malenko almost didn�t make it on a leap frog, so Powers nailed him for another 2.
Next, he gave Malenko a shot to the midsection followed by a knee lift.
As he delivered a powerslam and made the cover, referee Nick Patrick�s neck flared up again.
While Powers distracted himself by confronting Patrick, Malenko rolled him up for the pin. Sigh.

Summary: Showcase match for the NEW Cruiserweight Champion with some Patrick drama thrown in.

After the match, Long confronts Patrick yet again as PEPBOYS sponsors the replay.

On WCW Saturday Night, Faces of Fear square off against the Rock�n�Roll Express. Also, Jericho faces Benoit.

Who will win the Battle of Tennessee?
After Morton gave him a cross-corner whip, Jarrett floated over and showboated.
Jarrett then gave Morton a cross-corner whip, but Morton leaped to the second turnbuckle and hit a cross body block for 2.
As Morton held an arm bar, Jarrett countered with a slam, but Morton hung on.
Jarrett responded by guillotining him using the top rope.
Next, he gave Morton a running guillotine followed by a vertical suplex.
While Tony shilled ticket information for World War III, Jarrett slammed Morton.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle, hit a flying body press, but Morton rolled through for 2.
Jarrett came back with a swinging neckbreaker then tried to hook the figure-four leg lock.
Morton countered with an inside cradle and GOT THE PIN!
UPSET CITY! Take the court!
Oh, wait, it was only 2. My bad.
After Jarrett reversed a cross-corner whip, Morton delivered a sunset flip for another 2.
Jarrett retaliated with a knee crusher, hooked the figure-four leg lock, and got the submission.

Summary: Give credit to Morton for standing toe-to-toe with Jarrett. He could have won.

Immediately following the match, Giant, holding the US title belt, has a microphone in the crowd and cuts a promo on Jarrett and the Horsemen.

Tony then interviews Jarrett at ringside. Jarrett claims to have three generations of wrestling in his family. While that doesn�t quite make him a third-generation wrestler (his paternal grandmother worked in the business but wasn�t a wrestler), he has the experience to tell it like it is. In spite of being out of breath, this wasn�t a bad promo by Jarrett.

Rougeau and Ouellet got on the microphone to draw heat by singing the Canadian national anthem until High Voltage attacked them.
After High Voltage gave Ouellet a double back drop, they delivered a double dropkick to Rougeau.
They then whipped the Canadians into one another.
While Rage held Ouellet, Kaos tagged in, mounted the top turnbuckle, and lowered the boom to Ouellet.
HOUR #2!
Bischoff referred to Tenay as �Mean Mike Tenay.� That had to be a potshot at Okerlund. Sign the papers, Gene!
According to Bischoff, Savage is GONE instead of being here. Dammit!
Meanwhile, Ouellet reversed an Irish whip as Rougeau tripped Kaos behind referee Nick Patrick�s back.
Rougeau tagged in as the Canadians gave Kaos a double guillotine on the top rope while Rage distracted Patrick.
As the Phoenix faithful chanted �USA,� Rougeau slammed Ouellet on top of Kaos.
Rougeau tagged in, and the Canadians gave Kaos the Cannonball.
Before any further wrestling took place, the Nasty Boys hit the ring.
As Knobbs clotheslined Kaos, Patrick called for the bell.

Summary: The Canadians are good, but they�re missing something somewhere. What could that be?

After the match, as Bischoff sarcastically call them his �best friends,� the Nasty Boys give Kaos a double powerbomb. Sags then gets on the microphone and calls Hogan a liar. Knobbs then calls out the Outsiders.

Prior to the next match, Bischoff, in a somewhat snarky tone, noted that Piper asked for five minutes LIVE on PPV so he couldn�t be edited. Stay tuned for the REST of the diatribe later on.

Graffiti attacked Mysterio at the opening bell and delivered an electric chair.
He then gave Mysterio a sit-out powerbomb for 2.
After Mysterio reversed a cross-corner whip, he gave Graffiti a monkey flip.
As Mysterio floated over him, Graffiti jumped to the second turnbuckle, leaped, but ate a dropkick on the way down.
Mysterio then delivered a springboard corkscrew splash for 2.
Using the top rope as a springboard, Mysterio delivered a flying headscissors sending Graffiti down to the floor.
Graffiti then reversed a whip sending Mysterio back-first into the steel railing.
He then got up on the apron and gave Mysterio a somersault senton on the floor. Wow!
After a face plant, Graffiti gave Mysterio a leg drop for 2.
After giving Graffiti a mule kick, Mysterio delivered the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Summary: Another good showcase match as Mysterio gave Graffiti quite a bit and vice-versa.

Buy the shirt! Send it to Rock Star Gary. Make it an XL. There�s also a hat for �15 bucks.�

Lee Marshall provided the 1-800-COLLECT Road Report �from Grand Rapids, MI� as AC Green chastised referee Nick Patrick.

According to Bischoff, due to their matches last night, neither wrestler was 100%. In fact, Benoit had his left shoulder taped. Also, Guerrero had his ribs taped. According to Meltzer, though, only Guerrero�s injury was legitimate.
After a commercial break, Bischoff mentioned that Hogan requested a promo in response to Piper last night. Interestingly, he didn�t put up a fight about giving that time.
As the match began, Mongo and Debra came out to support the �Crippler.�
In split-screen, Taskmaster and Jimmy Hart cut a promo on Benoit. Taskmaster took it a step further subtly mentioning his relationship to Woman and that he was going to maintain it.
After a Guerrero dropkick, Benoit put a knee into Guerrero�s midsection. OUCH!
He then applied an abdominal stretch, but Guerrero escaped with an arm drag.
After Benoit whipped Guerrero sternum-first into the corner, he reapplied the abdominal stretch.
Benoit then gave Guerrero a cross-corner whip but came up empty on his follow-through.
Guerrero then gave Benoit the ten-punch count-along.
As Benoit reversed an Irish whip, Guerrero nailed him with a flying forearm.
While Woman got up on the apron to distract referee Nick Patrick, Mongo snuck into the ring and nailed Guerrero in the ribs with the Haliburton. YEE-OUCH!
Benoit made the cover and got the pin.

Summary: Probably the worst match these guys had together due to Guerrero�s injury. Benoit sold his �injury� well too.

At the entrance, Tony interviews Nick Patrick with �attorney� Alan Sharp. While Sharp defends Patrick due to the actions of Savage, Jericho emerges from backstage and states that Patrick�s neck injury is fake and purported. Next, he states that Patrick is a �100% paid employee of the (nWo).� When Sharp interrupts, Jericho dismisses him by calling him a �fly-by-night.�

After Sharp chastises Jericho, Teddy Long re-emerges from backstage to join the fray and refers to Sharp as a �scam artist� while Patrick is �sandbagging.� This segment was complete nonsense because Sharp wasn�t a lawyer; he was WCW�s director of public relations.

Prior to the next match, Colonel Parker gives a split-screen promo and dismisses any claims of dissention between Harlem Heat and himself.

Match 8: The �Total Package� Lex Luger versus Booker T (w/ Sister Sherri)

After a leap frog by Booker T, Luger countered a hip toss with one of his own.
He then gave Booker T an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline sending Booker T over the top rope to the floor.
Upon Booker T�s return, he made Luger taste the top turnbuckle. In the meantime, Sherri argued with AC Green at ringside.
Booker T then gave Luger a cross-corner whip but ate a back elbow upon his follow-through thanks to a distraction by Green.
After giving Booker T a shot to the midsection, Luger delivered a knee lift for 2.
As Bischoff noted that Piper�s last known role was WWF President, Luger put the boots to Booker T in the corner.
Booker T came back with a sidewalk slam, mounted the second turnbuckle, but missed a knee drop.
Prior to the commercial break, Luger delivered a flying back elbow for 2.
Afterward, Luger reversed a cross-corner whip but came up empty on his follow-through.
Booker T then charged and ate knee plus a clothesline resulting in a 360° sell by Booker T. Awesome!
Upon receiving an elbow drop, Booker T came back with a series of kicks including an axe kick for 2.
As the Phoenix faithful chanted �Luger,� Booker T gave Luger another sidewalk slam.
After a third sidewalk slam, Booker T mounted the top turnbuckle but missed the Harlem Hangover.
As Luger signaled for the Torture Rack, Sting distracted him from the upper deck. There must have been a LONG line for snacks.
Since Luger had unfinished business with Sting, he exited the ring, went through the crowd after him, and was counted out. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Summary: What a shitty main event that was. Angle-driven: yes, worthwhile: no.

After a commercial break, the debate between Piper and Hogan from last night was shown. Before it culminated, however, Hogan, DiBiase, and the Giant come to the ring for Hogan�s response.

Under the spotlight, Hogan refers to himself as the �John Wayne of the �90s.� Oh, brother. Next, he calls Savage �Nacho Man� yet gives him respect for carrying WCW on his back. On the other hand, he then lambastes him for not �getting the job done.� He digs even deeper by saying he�ll take good care of Elizabeth for him. Afterward, Hogan tells bold-faced lies about Piper then poses for the nWo-ites.

Conclusion: Crappy to mediocre wrestling combined with a main event interview is not the type of Nitro that I want to see. Unfortunately, that�s what this was. WCW baited the wrestling audience with a portion of last night�s interview then pulled the rug out with a Hogan craptacular. Skip this with everything you got. What�s on RAW?

To begin the program, we revisit Superstars when Austin destroyed Pillman for touting the upcoming match at Survivor Series. In tonight�s program, while Bret lounges in Calgary, Austin�s in the WWF Studios in Stamford to speak his piece. This ought to be interesting.

As the match began, pictures from Brian James in Desert Storm were shown.
After a pair of leap frogs, James sent Sincere through the ropes to the floor.
When James tried to grab him, Sincere guillotined him using the top rope.
James came back with a cross body block for 2.
With Sincere on the apron, James nailed him making Sincere taste the steel railing. It must have tasted like the Mexican French Dip at the Hoppy Gnome.
Back in the ring, James missed a dropkick.
After a slam, Sincere mounted the top turnbuckle, got caught, and received a slam down to the mat.
James then gave him a cross-corner whip followed by a corner clothesline.
Upon ducking a clothesline, Sincere hooked a full-nelson as Vince noted that the Rosemont Horizon will host WrestleMania XIII come March. Get your tickets now!
Meanwhile, James hooked a pumphandle slam and pinned Sincere.

Summary: I do not see a future main-eventer in James from watching this match.

From the WWF Studios, Dok Hendrix runs down the card for Survivor Series on 11/17, but Stone Cold Steve Austin interrupts him. Regardless, here it is:

For the WWF title, Michaels defends against Sycho Sid.
Intercontinental champion Helmsley (w/ Mr. Perfect), Crush, Goldust, and Lawler face Mero (w/ Sable), the Stalker, Mark Henry, and newcomer Rocky Maivia.
Undertaker wrestles against Mankind with Paul Bearer suspended in a shark cage.
Also, the previously mentioned Austin will face Bret Hart.

As Vince runs down the upcoming segments, a makeup artist tries to remove the shine from Austin�s dome, but Austin tells her where to find love so to speak.

Mero joined the broadcast team for this match via telephone.
As Mero cut a promo on Mr. Perfect, Crush gave Montoya a clothesline resulting in a 360° sell. Woohoo!
After a HARD cross-corner whip, Crush gave Montoya a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
In the meantime, Jim Ross joined the broadcast team as Vince teased him about his microphone. Ross made a couple of good comebacks in retaliation.
Crush then pressed Montoya overhead and dumped him to the floor.
According to Ross, Faarooq retained Mason as his new manager.
After giving Crush a dropkick, Montoya delivered a clothesline.
Crush came back with a back drop then gave Montoya the heart punch.
1-2-3.

After the match, Crush grabs an obvious plant from the audience (since he resembled a wrestler) and boots him down the aisle.

We then revisit last week�s episode when Helmsley ran down Mr. Perfect with an equipment cart followed by the heel turn that gave Helmsley the Intercontinental title. On Superstars, Mr. Perfect was suspended by WWF President Gorilla Monsoon **cough**Lloyd�s of London**cough**.

Meanwhile, Austin chastises Vince for making him wait until a production assistant counts him down. That doesn�t sit very well with Austin.

In the Milton-Bradley Karate Fighters holiday tournament, Mr. Perfect distracts Phineas with Dolly Parton to win the first-round match.

Next week, via satellite, Brian Pillman will be LIVE from his home in Lawton, Kentucky. Austin berates Vince for this and promises to be there. We then revisit Superstars when Austin Pillmanized Pillman by stomping his ankle with it trapped in a steel chair. He then impeded the progress of the ambulance so that Pillman couldn�t get immediate medical attention.

Austin then coins the acronym �DTA� for �don�t trust anybody.� and calls Monsoon a �puppet� because Vince is a �greedy, selfish promoter.� Following that, he states that Vince won�t take any action against Austin because of his match against Bret being �the biggest match of the decade.� Despite �making a lot of money for this match,� Austin would rather �kick his ass for free.� Vince is no dummy as he could see $$$ in Austin�s eyes going forward.

After a commercial break, the verbal exchange between Austin and Bret tries to take place, but ring announcer Howard Finkel introduces Sunny in the arena.

Prior to the next match, we again revisit Superstars where the Smoking Gunns tag team broke up. Along with the Austin segment, this angle should have been on RAW.

As you would expect, Sunny joined the broadcast team for this match.
After a leap frog by Billy, Floyd delivered a dropkick.
Billy came back by clotheslining Floyd over the top rope to the floor.
Meanwhile, Bart came to ringside and had an argument with Billy who �protected� Sunny.
Officials removed Bart from ringside as Floyd hit a flying back elbow.
Next, a leaping kick (not a dropkick) got 2 for Floyd.
Billy then gave him the hot shot and mounted the top turnbuckle.
Upon delivering a guillotine leg drop, Billy got the pin.

Vince then conducts an interview with both Bret and Austin. While Bret takes a laid-back approach to the match, Austin states that �win, lose, or draw, it ain�t over.� Austin isn�t finished with the segment, grabs the production assistant who was counting him down earlier, and tosses him into a ladder. He then tosses down a monitor and pushes a second ladder into the first one atop the production assistant. Classic badass Austin.

Next, a security guard asks Austin to leave, but Austin retorts that �(he�ll) leave on my own.�

Prior to the next match, we revisit last week�s episode when Smith interfered in Owen�s match against Sid until Michaels intervened.

Match 4 (non-title): WWF Champion the �Heartbreak Kid� Shawn Michaels (w/ Jose Lothario) versus WWF tag team champion the �British Bulldog� Davey Boy Smith (w/ Clarence Mason)

Owen joined the broadcast team for this match.
According to Vince, RAW�s time-slot changes next week to 7:57pm ET. So long to Nitro�s head start. Will it transform into a ratings victory for the WWF. Stay tuned!
Regardless, after a leap frog by Smith, Michaels gave him an eye poke followed by a huracanrana.
He then clotheslined Smith over the top rope to the floor and skinned the cat back into the ring.
According to Vince, the Stamford police will be arriving at WWF Studios soon for Austin.
Meanwhile, Michaels delivered an enziguri much to Owen�s chagrin.
Upon pressing Michaels overhead, Smith guillotined him using the top rope.
He then gave Michaels a cross-corner whip that resulted in a Michaels flip to the floor.
During a commercial break, an ad for WWF Full Metal: The Album was shown.
Afterward, Smith gave Michaels a knee to the midsection for 2.
He then gave Michaels a delayed vertical suplex followed by a leg drop for another 2.
Michaels attempted a crucifix, but Smith countered with a Samoan drop and almost got 3.
Michaels came back with a sunset flip and got 2.
However, Smith retaliated with a clothesline for 2.
After another commercial break, Smith reversed a cross-corner whip but ate boot on his follow-through.
Upon nailing Smith with a flying forearm, Michaels nipped up and gave Smith a back drop followed by the ten-punch count-along.
As Smith reversed a cross-corner whip, he positioned Michaels for the running powerslam.
Conversely, Michaels escaped and slammed him.
He then mounted the top turnbuckle and hit the big elbow.
When Michaels set up for Sweet Chin Music, Owen left the broadcast table and grabbed him by the ankle.
Referee Earl Hebner called for the bell disqualifying Smith.

Summary: You mean the champion of the promotion wrestles in the main event rather than bumps his gums? Whatamaneuver!

After the match, Smith and Owen double-team Michaels until Sid arrives. As Sid punches Owen, his arm nails Michaels in the back. Was it inadvertent? Michaels doesn�t believe so and gets in Sid�s face. As they discuss who has the fresher breath, Owen gets on the microphone and challenges them to a tag title match next week. Sid and Michaels nonverbally accept.

We then revisit the chaos perpetrated by Austin earlier in the show. As we return to the live feed, the security guard escorts Austin to the door as Stamford�s finest talk to Austin.

Conclusion: While the matches stunk up my screen, the skits with Austin were extremely entertaining. If this is the direction RAW is taking, they might stand a chance at beating Nitro. Did they do so this week?

Who won? Hell no! Since Nitro was coming off a great PPV and promised Hogan and Piper later in the show, wrestling fans stayed tuned rather than watch RAW. While nothing is scheduled for Nitro, an in-home interview with Brian Pillman takes place on RAW. With Austin looming, it should at least be interesting.